Snacks from the cruise buffet

Caleb's Crew: Granny Brand or Life begins again at 70

2012-01-30T06:51:00.002Z

Many years ago, I read two books by Dr Paul Brand, co-authored with Philip Yancey, In His Image,and Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Both books draw upon lessons Brand learned in his pioneering work with leprosy patients.** Full of amazing insights about the human body and the Christian faith, they are well worth reading, or re-reading.

But this post isn't about Paul Brand. It's about his mother who had her own fascinating story. Granny Brand started out her life as Evelyn Harris, the daughter of a rich British merchant. In her late twenties [a hundred years ago], she gave up her comfortable life in London and went to work in the mountains of southern India. There she married Jesse Brand and settled into a remote area where people struggled with sickness, poverty and hopelessness. The Brands cared for the people, sharing the good news of the gospel and caring for those who were ill. They had two children, Paul and Connie, who were eventually sent back to England for schooling. Then Jesse died of blackwater fever. Evelyn went back to England on furlough, and spent time with her children. But at the age of 49 she returned to India. For the next 20 years she continued the work, sometimes living in rugged mountain villages and sometimes working on the plains, based in Madras.

Her biography** does not dwell on her faults but it's clear that she was not always easy to work with. She could be critical , strong-minded, and stubborn. But she was also passionate to help people in any way she could and her life is proof that the God doesn't seem to mind using imperfect, exasperating saints.

Just before she turned 70, following the policy of the mission, she retired. And then she joined Caleb's Crew**. Instead of returning to England, she settled once again in the southern mountains to start a new work. For 25 more years, until her death at the age of 95, she continued bringing hope and wholeness to remote villages. She helped eradicate the painful guinea worm parasite, fought marijuana growers, led Bible studies, took in foster children. Granny Brand is a great example that there's no age limit on having a vision and making a difference in the world. Given that our life expectancy has increased over the last century, that's a valuable lesson for all of us, no matter what age we are.

But I think the most notable success of her second career was not how God worked through her, but how God was able to work in her. Miraculously, He softened her, healed old bitterness, replaced irritation with love. When Paul Brand visited his mother towards the end of her life, he noticed a spiritual strength she had not shown before. And he found her younger--not in her body, but in her spirit. She had a deeper joy and peace. "This is how to grow old," her son wrote." Allow everything else to fall away, until those around you see just love. They will also see your own life renewed and they will recognize the love to be the love of God."

What an encouraging illustration that we are never too old to be changed. God never gives up working in us. Regardless of what decade we are in, the power of the Holy Spirit can do the impossible in us, smoothing away our rough edges and healing wounds we thought were permanent.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. II Corinthians 4:16

**Links and Notes
** "Before Brand, it was widely believed that those suffering from Hansen's Disease lost their fingers and feet because of rotting flesh. Instead, Brand discovered, such deformities were due to the loss of ability to feel pain. With treatment and care, he showed, victims of the disease could go indefinitely without such deformities." [obituary in Christianity Today]

**Granny Brand: Her Story by Dorothy Wilson Clarke
There is also a brief biography of her here

**Introduction to the Caleb's Crew series

Speaking of bad news and good news

2012-01-17T12:56:00.001Z

People do not drift toward holiness...
We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance;
we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom;
we drift toward superstition and call it faith.
We slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism;
we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.

D.A. Carson

***

For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery of trying to earn God's approval by being good. It if you work on being self-righteous, Christ will be of no benefit to you at all! First, you'll be obligated to obey the whole law. And then you'll be alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace...For in Christ Jesus our external acts carry no weight – the only thing that matters is faith working through love.

paraphrase of Galatians 5:1-6

***

Peter denied Jesus with oaths and curses. But then he came completely to the end of himself and all of his self-sufficiency. There was no part of himself he would ever rely on again. In his state of destitution, he was finally ready to receive all that the risen Lord had for him. “. . .

...All our promises and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to accomplish them. When we come to the end of ourselves, not just mentally but completely, we are able to “receive the Holy Spirit.” The idea is that of invasion. There is now only One who directs the course of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Oswald Chambers

***

Do not despair, thinking that you cannot change yourself after so many years. Simply enter into the presence of Jesus as you are and ask him to give you a fearless heart where he can be with you. You cannot make yourself different. Jesus came to give you a new heart, a new spirit, a new mind, and a new body. Let him transform you by his love.

Henri Nouwen

***
This Week's Special
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin. Hebrews 4:15

Still crazy after all these years...

2012-01-14T13:53:00.005Z

The start of a new year is supposed to be a hopeful time. We think about changes we'd like to make and things we'd like to do differently. But after a few decades of adulthood, it can be hard to be so optimistic. When I stop to take stock of my life, I can slip into discouragement. I can think, "I have followed Jesus for so long and it doesn't seem like I've really made progress. It's impossible that I'll grow more and root out troublesome habits." Whenever I think like this, I find an accusing voice is always there, quick to agree. "Give up. What's the point of trying?"

Recently on this account, I've been encouraged by the lives of Peter, Jacob, and David. Their stories show God's patience in dealing with people who have experienced His grace and yet manage to forget it, sometimes in truly disastrous ways.

Each of them had a promising start with a powerful experience of God. For Peter, it was the moment when he dropped his fishing nets and left to follow Jesus. For Jacob, it was at Bethel, where God confirmed the promise He had given to Abraham. David had his stunning victory over Goliath.

Years passed. Three for Peter, many more for Jacob and David. You'd expect that these life-changing spiritual experiences would result in just that: changed lives. And that's partly true. They continued in faith. Peter had enough to step out of the boat and walk on the water to Jesus. Jacob acted honorably towards Laban, even when Laban cheated him. David took refuge in God when Saul tried to kill him.

And yet in spite of God's continued demonstration of His love and care, Peter denied knowing Jesus. Jacob was reduced to fear and trembling at the prospect of meeting Esau 20 years after cheating him out of his birthright. David lusted after Bathsheba and had her husband killed. He didn't miss the mark by just a little; he committed a massive moral failure.

The worst part is that these awful fiascos happened after they had come to know who God was. These people couldn't make the excuse that they didn't know if God could help them out. They had experienced His power many times, but this time they refused to trust Him.

However, this is where it gets interesting. Because instead of God booting them out of His family [as I'd be inclined to do], He kept them in. This required them to confront their sinfulness on a much deeper level than they ever had before. It must have been an excruciating experience after their victories and triumphs for God to realize how far they had fallen, and how much sorrow they must have caused Him. But God didn't reject them for this. He gave them an even richer encounter with His love and grace.

This is encouraging for me to see. I tend to think the standard faith story is a much simpler and cleaner one. I take an experience like Paul's, with his stunning change from sin to grace as the norm. I highlight the prodigal son, coming home for good. I begin to think we're given one shot at grace and if we blow it after that, it's all over.

But we can see from Peter's example that coming to faith was only the beginning for him. He hadn't been able to fully grasp how deeply flawed he was when he first fell at Jesus' feet. It was only three years later when he experienced a major failure of faith, that he was brought to the end of himself. This time, his repentance touched his very core . I think Paul reached a similar point when he gave up asking God to take away his thorn in the flesh and accepted that God's grace had to be sufficient for him.

There's a cautionary tale in these stories though. They show that unfortunately it's never to late to make a catastrophic failure. Even if I've been following Jesus for a while, I can still become blind to my sin and deceive myself. I can act as if God doesn't love me, or pretend He doesn't matter. I can take short cuts that leave me spiritually bankrupt while denying that I have any problem [usually shortcuts like relying on cheap grace or trying to create my own self-righteousness].

It would be easier and safer if God had taken away my free will when I decided to follow Him. But He didn't. He freed me from slavery and let me keep the choice of whether to go my own way or to submit to Him.

But the good news remains. There is no statute of limitations on God's grace. It doesn't matter how long I have been following Jesus, or how badly I have disobeyed Him. He never gives up on me. When I get to the end of myself, I find that He is waiting for me. Not to condemn me, but to offer me what I desperately need: mercy, acceptance, unconditional love.

Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
Hebrews 4:14-16, The Message

Attitude of gratitude

2012-01-06T14:09:00.000Z

It's that time of year when I stop and look back on the blessings of the past year.** I read something this week about how being grateful requires an acknowledgment that by ourselves we have nothing; that we are poor in spirit. I also read that one of the traits of narcissism is a denial of gratitude, and a sense of entitlement. With that in mind, I offer an illustration from John Ortberg:

"Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary:
8:00 am — Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am — A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am — A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am — Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm — Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm — Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm — Wagged my tail! My avorite thing!
5:00 pm — Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm — Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm — Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm — Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre, little dangling objects.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

Two creatures, identical circumstances, but totally different experiences.
What is the difference? It is a way of thinking.
Gratitude is one mindset; entitlement is another."

**Links
A reminder of the joy that comes from being grateful

Our Stone Jar

This Week's Special
From the fullness of His grace
we have all received
one blessing after another.
John 1:16

Speaking of the New Year

2012-01-03T14:56:00.000Z

A New Year's Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;

Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;

Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;

Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;

Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,
and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God's love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

***

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul;
and a new nose, new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes.

G.K.Chesteron

***

I launch my vessel on the unknown waters of this year,
with you, O Father, as my harbor,
you, O Son, as my helm,
you, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my belt buckled,
Your comforts to cheer,
Your wisdom to teach,
Your right hand to guide,
Your counsel to instruct,
Your law to judge,
Your presence to stabilize.
May Your fear be my awe,
Your triumphs my joy.

Puritan prayer

All is well

2011-12-25T06:32:00.004Z

All is well

All is well
all is well
Angels and men rejoice
For tonight darkness fell
Into the dawn of love's light
Sing A-le
Sing Alleluia

Michael W. Smith

Lux venit
Lux venit [The light has come]
Sursum corda [lift up your hearts]
...Redemptions's light
Pierces through the shadows dark

Speaking of light

2011-12-24T05:49:00.002Z

We who live much of the time in the darkness are waiting not just at Advent, but at all times for the advent of light, of that ultimate light that is redemptive and terrifying at the same time. It is redemptive because it puts an end to the darkness, and that is also why it is terrifying, because for so long, for all our lives, the darkness has been home, and because to leave home is always cause for terror.

Frederick Beuchner

***

The only way to receive healing is to give themselves to the Savior, with the little bit of good that they have, even if that little bit is only a desire to believe. They can then give themselves to the Savior in spite of the excess of doubleheartedness and worldly mindedness and unbelief that actually remains in their hearts. Yes--to mourn unbelief when actually dealing with Jesus---that is true sincerity.

Andrew Murray

***

Again the darkness is past; again Light is made...Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new. The letter gives way, the Spirit comes to the front. The shadows flee away, the Truth comes in upon them.

Gregory of Nazianzus, Archbishop of Constantinople, 380 AD

***
This Week's Special
Because of our God’s tender mercy
the dawn will break upon us from on high
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace.
Luke 1:78-79

A tale of darkness

2011-12-22T18:19:00.000Z

When you're waiting in the dark, you end up spending a lot of time thinking about the light.

You start gravitating towards passages in the Bible that mention light. You become amazed how deeply the concept of light is threaded all the way through, how every thing you read seems to mention light
from Genesis 1:3, And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
to Revelations 22:5, They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light.

And because it is advent, you spend a lot of time thinking about how Jesus is the light of the world.
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” [John 9:12]

Then you remember He also said,
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.
Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. [Matthew 5:14-16].

You contemplate this greater mystery. Not only do you receive God's light, but you reflect it too. And for a while you have a warm, cozy feeling.

Then you read Luke 11:35, Be careful lest the light in you be darkness.
And you think why would this apply to you? Darkness is scary and you're craving light. But before long, you realize what you are really craving is comfort, not light. Light can be too revealing. It can uncover things you want to keep hidden.

And so it is while you are living through this season with its focus on God's desire to illuminate the world's gloom, you become aware of a painful truth. There are some very dark aspects of your soul that you have never allowed to be exposed to the light. Suddenly the thought of Jesus shining in the darkness doesn't feel hopeful at all. It actually feels disturbing.

You see that if you really want to sing about the glory of God with the heavenly host, you are going to have to admit these dark parts in you. And once you've done that, you'll need to bring them out into the open and expose them to the light of God's presence. You know this is going to be an excruciatingly difficult operation. You've already scraped off the easy sins, those big glaring spots that you knew you couldn't hide. What has remained are deeply engrained attitudes and patterns. These aren't mere cosmetic problems that can be gotten rid of as easily as taking out the trash. These are fundamental structural issues that require something much more drastic, like tearing down the house.

And if you are honest with yourself, you have to face the fact that you don't want to do this. You've become attached to these aspects of your self. They are precious parts of who you are.

That's when you understand which character in the Christmas story you may be most like. Not Mary who obediently submits. Not the shepherds who respond to the angels. Not the Magi who go on a long journey to pay homage to a king. But Herod, the earthly ruler who claims that he wants to go and worship the Christ. Instead, what he really wants is to eliminate any potential threat to his power, and to ensure this, he will kill every little boy in Bethlehem. You used to shake your head at how he could do such a terrible thing to protect his fleeting kingdom. You used to condemn him as a monster. But now you recognize that dark desperation to hold on.

Fortunately for you, God knows your heart. This is not news to Him. Fortunately, His light shines in your darkness.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on Me,
because the Lord has anointed Me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners.
Isaiah 61:1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning.
Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.
In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:1-4

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.
And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
Romans 8:15

Speaking of Advent waiting

2011-12-12T06:54:00.000Z

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain but the breaking does not

Andrew Peterson [lyrics from his song, The Silence of God]

***

It is not objective proof of God’s existence that we want but...the experience of God’s presence. That is the miracle that we are really after. And that is also, I think, the miracle that we really get…

Frederick Beuchner

***

Many of us are in an ideal place to begin Advent, but we don’t know it. It can be tempting to think that, because we are struggling these days, we can’t enter into Advent without a big change in our mood or without distancing ourselves from our real experience. Nothing could be further from the truth. Advent is about letting God come to us. We do the letting and God does the coming. .. We are tempted to prepare for Advent by cleaning everything up first – by, in effect, saving ourselves first. Our opening to Advent is to realize we need saving and to accept the saving love of our God.

Creighton University Advent devotion

This Week's Special
The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.
Exodus 20:21

Waiting in the Advent dark

2011-12-09T11:42:00.002Z

Anyone who has woken up in the middle of the night and has not been able to get back to sleep understands how desolate darkness is. Time becomes suspended. The numbers on the digital clock seem stuck. There is silence, emptiness, deep shadows. The day feels very far away. There is no one else around to comfort you or share the misery of sleeplessness. You are on your own.

Of course we know that eventually the sun will rise again. We have to wait but we are certain it is only a matter of time before the day will begin. It's like our Advent waiting. We mark off the weeks, knowing that there are only four of them. The Advent wreath with its beautiful candlelight pretties up the shadows, so we don't it feel so alone. Each time we add another candle, the light increases , a sign that we are making progress, that time is moving, that the end--or the beginning--is coming. Even better, we know where the story is going. We know that the angels are coming to sing in bright glory and the darkness will be overcome. And in the meantime, there are presents to be bought and cookies to be made and decorations to be hung. The waiting is festive.

However sometimes there can be dark places in our lives where the promise of coming light seems impossible. A place that is so dark and lonely, there seems to be no hope and we easily fall into doubt, thinking "what if I am a fool for believing the promise?"

I have a few places in my life right now where I am waiting in the dark. Living in the time of 'not yet' is not easy. It's not comfortable or peaceful or infused with happiness. Anxiety buzzes. Fear spouts. Terror blooms. A terrible darkness comes to my heart as the night moves inside. It feels awful not to be in control. But even worse, there is no laboring to be done. With my hands idle, my mind races around going over one scenario and then another. Unlike a woman waiting to give birth, I have no idea how long I will have to wait. And what if I'm waiting for nothing? What if the rains don't come and the sun doesn't shine and the seed I've planted in the ground doesn't come to life? What if I'm only waiting for a death?

I try not to dwell on it. My impulse is to fill the time, to find a way to distract myself from the awfulness of not knowing. But I can't help it and every so often I go and check the soil where I've planted a seed. The ground is still dead, the earth is still dry. I begin to hear the whispering accusation: "Is God really going to take care of you?"

I hope so, I think so. But to trust God and to remain open to Him during the darkness is not something I would ever choose. I want to fix the darkness. I want to solve the problem. I want to make things happen. But in the darkness, I hear God say, "Wait. Wait. I am coming."

So I keep waiting--I don't really have a choice, but I start to feel dread. What if my advent doesn't bring me the salvation of a kingly triumph that I'm looking for? What if it is more like a weak, vulnerable baby born in a stable? Or what if it is like a suffering servant who goes through an even greater darkness?

From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). [Matthew 27:45-46]

In Jesus' agonizing cry, I find a response to my dread. Because as I remain in the hopeless dark, I find a great High Priest who waits with me. He knows the shadows even better than I do. He is able to sympathize with my terror. He knows what it is like to be tempted to despair.

And He also knows what it is like to wait. Countless times He has waited for me to come to Him and receive the mercy and grace I need. He has waited through my stubbornness and self-pity and rebellion, as well as my brokenness and pain. And in this awful advent of mine, He is waiting again for me to call out to Him, so I will know I am not alone. For He is Emmanuel: God with us.

A song for Advent waiting

2011-12-03T07:01:00.002Z

The Reckoning
by Andrew Peterson

...And I know you hear the cries of every soul tonight
You see the teardrops as they roll tonight
Down the faces of saints
Who grow weary and faint in your fields
And the wicked roam the cities and the streets tonight
But when the God of love and thunder speaks tonight
I believe You will come
Your justice be done, but
How long until this curtain is lifted?
How long is this the song that we sing?
How long until the reckoning?...

Speaking of perfect faith

2011-12-03T02:23:00.001Z

Those are perfect in faith who can come to God in the utter dearth of their feelings and desires—without a glow or an aspiration, with the weight of low thoughts, failures, neglect and wandering forgetfulness—and say to him, “thou are my refuge.”

George MacDonald

***

Though your faith is weak, don't be discouraged. A weak faith may receive a strong Christ.. The promise of salvation is not made to strong faith but true faith. The promise doesn't say 'whoever has a giant faith that can remove mountains, will be saved,' but whoever believes, even if his faith is small.

Thomas Watson

***

I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16:8

***
This Week's Special
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Psalm 139:2-5

The practice of faith

2011-11-30T09:54:00.000Z

I've been thinking about faith again** and mulling over something that Andrew Murray wrote about it. To illustrate what faith is like, Murray said that "when a man wishes to learn to swim, he goes into the water while he cannot swim, because he knows that once he begins, he will learn to do it in time." That's so true. You don't learn to swim sitting on the shore. I've been watching Clara on webcam as she masters the art of walking and I've been reminded that a baby does the same thing. If all Clare ever did was watch adults and her big sister, she would never learn. She had to start toddling and falling and picking herself up again, over and over and over again. I don't know how many times a baby falls while learning to walk but it must be hundreds of times.

Too often I view faith as something that I should be able to do perfectly all the time, rather than something I have to practice. To have more faith doesn't mean hoping God will dish out a bigger portion to me. Instead I learn to exercise faith by tottering along. Rather than get frustrated that I don't have perfect faith, I can accept I am almost guaranteed to fall down and I will have to get up and start again. I say, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."**

Faith isn't a possession as much as it is a muscle that grows with patient practice and repetition. Even Peter couldn't walk perfectly when he saw Jesus on the water before him, but stumbled. How much harder is it for us who don't see Jesus with our physical eyes, but only with our eyes of faith. I just have to keep walking with Jesus, holding out my hand like a baby holds out her hand for her mother when she starts to lose her balance.

The hand of faith
Interestingly, that image of reaching out a hand is found at least three times in the gospel of Matthew**. The first time, it was a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years. She had gone to many doctors and spent all her money trying to be cured without success. She was desperate, not only because of her physical problem but also because it made her ritually unclean. Anyone and anything she touched would also become unclean. I imagine that people must have kept their distance from her. She decided that if she could touch the edge of Jesus' cloak, she would be healed. She came up behind, where no one would notice her. Maybe she didn't want to embarrass Jesus. Or maybe she didn't want to risk having Jesus reject her because of her condition. Whatever the case, she went ahead and took a baby step of faith with life-changing consequences.

The next time, it was a man with a withered hand that was shrunken and paralyzed. The Pharisees were in the middle of a tiff with Jesus about whether it was right to heal on the Sabbath. To prove his point, Jesus told the man to stretch out his hand. The man obeyed and his hand was restored to health. I suspect he didn't mind being used as an object lesson but I wonder if he hesitated when Jesus asked him to show his hand. Sometimes faith requires exposing our weaknesses, brokenness, and damaged parts.

The third time it was Jesus who offered his hand, to a sinking Peter. Peter had taken a bold step, getting out of the boat and starting to walk on the water towards Jesus. But he began to lose his courage, just like Clara would take a few steps and then realize how far away she was from the safety of the couch or a chair. She wasn't always confident enough to keep going.

"Beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said. "why did you doubt?" [Matthew 14:30-31]

That's the hand I like best, the one that comes to rescue me when I stumble and fall. Since walking by faith is not something that comes naturally to me, chances are I'm going to take a lot of tumbles. Like a loving parent, God doesn't mind holding my hand or staying close beside to give me confidence, or coming over and comforting me when I've fallen yet again. I don't think He ever tires of pulling me up out of the slimy pit and setting my feet on solid rock ground again. And when I am able to walk more steadily, He enjoys holding my hand as we walk along.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you!
Don’t be frightened, for I am your God!
I strengthen you –
yes, I help you –
yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand!
Isaiah 41:10

Links and notes
** see the "Six-month prayer challenge" for earlier musings about faith
**Mark 9:24
**Matthew 9, Matthew 12, and Matthew 14

Speaking of holy food

2011-11-25T14:18:00.001Z

Two from Robert Farrar Capon:

Peel an orange. Do it lovingly--in perfect quarters like little boats, or in staggered exfoliations like a flat map of the round world, or in one long spiral, as my grandfather used to do. Nothing is more likely to become garbage than orange rind; but for as long as anyone looks at it in delight, it stands a million triumphant miles from the trash heap.

***

Deliver us, O Lord, from religiosity and Godlessness alike, lest we wander in fakery or die of boredom. Restore to us Thyself as Giver and the secular as Thy gift. Let idols perish and con jobs cease.

***

When I moved to the East Side, I went to a Salesian priest, Father Zossima. It was he who urged me to go to daily communion. I had thought this was only for the old or the saintly, and I told him so. “Not at all,” he said. “You go because you need food to nourish you, for your pilgrimage on this earth.”

Dorothy Day

This Week's Special
Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to Me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.Isaiah 55:1-3

Bedtime Snacks: The Supper of the Lamb

2011-11-22T01:50:00.001Z

Once upon a time, before food blogs and before the Food Network--but not before Julia Child--there was an Episcopal priest by the name of Robert Farrar Capon [Don't ask me why he went by three names. Perhaps because he was Episcopalian…] He was a good pastor, fond of eating and drinking with sinners, just like his Master. He also enjoyed cooking as much as eating, and theology as much as writing, a rare combination. Then he put all of these talents to use and wrote The Supper of the Lamb: A Culinary Reflection. It's called a reflection and not a cookbook because although he does guide the reader through recipes, the book is not just about cooking, but also about savoring food, and of course, about God.**

The book is framed around a simple premise: one leg of lamb for eight people, four times. You'd think that would take about five pages at most. But Capon is a preacher, a very good one in fact, and he's engaging, funny, and easy to listen to. However, don't worry. The book is not written from the pulpit, but in front of the stove where he ruminates as he works. The result might be what you would get if Babette, the wonderful cook in Babette's Feast,** decided to write down how she cooked her amazing meal. I doubt she would give any recipe that could be reduced to a 3 x 5 index card. It might even have 45 steps.** In the eponymous** movie version**, Babette doesn't come across as talkative, but I think in her more exuberant moments she would end up writing something like The Supper of the Lamb.

Capon's** instruction to slice an onion leads to a ten page meditation. There are discourses on knives and cutting and water and meat. He is an amateur in the true sense of the word: someone who cooks out of love not duty.** He is filled with a holy joie de vivre that echoes God looking at the His creation and saying it was good.

"Every real thing is a joy, if only you have eyes and ears to relish it, a nose and a tongue to taste it. But more than that, food and cooking are among the richest subjects in the world. Every day of our lives they preoccupy, delight and refresh us. Food is not just some fuel we need to get us going toward higher things. Cooking is not a drudgery we put up with in order to get the gruel delivered. Rather, each is a heart's astonishment. Both stop us dead in our tracks with wonder.

Rereading this book [I first read it over a decade ago in the middle of my once-a-month cooking phase], I see the errors of my ways, given what I wrote about making Boeuf Bourguignon. To complain of labor, in Capon's view, is to complain of love, for what we love we are willing to work for. If I have a problem then, the fault is not in Julia Child or French cooking, but my acceptance of the gospel of speed and efficiency.

In this corrupt world of high-fructose corn syrup, mass slaughterhouses, and food products created only to tempt and never to satisfy, cooking real food and eating it with friends is a very holy act. That's why holidays like Thanksgiving are good for us. It's a day that slows us down and gives us a chance to savor the bounty of God's culinary creativity with the dear family and friends He has graced us with.

Happy Thanksgiving. May you enjoy your banquet feast and remember the Giver of all good gifts.

**Links and notes
**Capon on why he wrote the book:
"The world may or may not need another cookbook, but it needs all the lovers—amateurs—it can get. It is a gorgeous old place, full of clownish graces and beautiful drolleries, and it has enough textures, tastes, and smells to keep us intrigued for more time than we have. Unfortunately, however, our response to its loveliness is not always delight: it is, far more often than it should be, boredom. And that is not only odd, it is tragic; for boredom is not neutral—it is the fertilizing principle of unloveliness.”

**summary of Babette's Feast

**post about my Waterloo: making Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon

**I will give a special prize for the person who knows how many times I've been able to use my new favorite word, eponymous, this year.

**The movie version of Babette's Feast has the distinction of being the first [but not the last] Danish language film to receive the Academy Award for best foreign film.

**I wonder if Capon developed a love of cooking because his last name is a kind of prized cooking bird [actually a castrated rooster].

**Capon on being an amateur:
"The role of the amateur: to look the world back to grace... Instead, the world looks as if it has been left in the custody of a pack of trolls. Indeed, the whole distinction between art and trash, between food and garbage, depends on the presence or absence of the loving eye. Turn a statue over to a boor and his boredom will break it to bits…on the other hand turn a shack over to a lover; for all its poverty, its lights and shadows warm a little….”

Speaking of the breastplate of righteousness

2011-11-19T00:56:00.000Z

The arms of God be around my shoulders,
The touch of the Holy Spirit upon my head,
The sign of Christ's cross upon my forehead,
The sound of the Holy Spirit in my ears,
The fragrance of the Holy Spirit in my nostrils,
The vision of heaven's company in my eyes,
The conversation of heaven's company on my lips,
The work of God's Church in my hands,
The service of God and the neighbour in my feet,
A home for God in my heart,
And to God, the Father of all, my entire being.
Amen.

Saint Fursa's breastplate prayer

***

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be thou my breastplate, sword for the fight;
thou my whole armor, thou my true might;
thou my soul's shelter, my strong tower:
raise thou me heavenward, great Power of my power.

Based on Saint Patrick's breastplate prayer
***

Satan tries to confuse us. "Look at how messed up the world is. How can you believe in a loving God?"
The only answer is the breastplate of righteousness. You cannot understand particular happenings; you cannot give any explanation. But you do know that the God who clothed you with His righteousness and saved you from a lost eternity must have your highest interest and those of His universe at heart.
When you hold on to that, your heart is protected from despair, even if your mind struggles to comprehend what is happening. You can live in peace even though you do not know all the answers.

Selwyn Hughes

This Week's Special
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Psalm 139:2-5

The well-dressed pilgrim

2011-11-16T13:45:00.001Z

During the eighth and ninth centuries in the British Isles [that's 300-400 years before medieval pilgrims were making their way to Santiago], followers of Jesus often composed prayers to declare the encompassing presence of God in the world. Some of these were loricas, or breastplate prayers [the breastplate being the piece of armor that covers your torso and protects your heart in battle, and lorica being Latin for breastplate]. Perhaps they had in mind Paul's description of spiritual armor:
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place. [Ephesians 6:14]

The best known is the 9th century lorica of St. Patrick. The prayer is rather long and detailed but last year in the midst of all the craziness that was going on,** I found it was a helpful way to slow down and center myself on the Rock of Ages who is in charge of the world and responsible for my life. I still periodically return to it whenever I need to remind myself that God is my shepherd, and Christ is with me.

I arise today
In the strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I arise today calling to mind Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;

I arise today remembering
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I arise today with God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak to me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me,
From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From every one who shall wish me ill,

Christ will shield me today:
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I arise today in the strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

**Links
Last year's craziness:
March 9,
March 18

Speaking of pilgrimage

2011-11-11T11:11:00.001Z

The Pilgrim's Progress
From this world to that which is to come.
John Bunyan

***

Faith is not the clinging to a shrine,
but an endless pilgrimage of the heart.
Audacious longing,
burning songs,
daring thoughts,
an impulse overwhelming the heart,
usurping the mind --
these are all a drive towards serving Him
who rings our hearts like a bell.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

***

All roads lead to Bethlehem,
all must someday follow them
And be ye great or be ye small
May the good Lord bless you all
on the road to Bethlehem

Anonymous

***

Keep me walking steadfastly towards the country of everlasting delights, that paradise-land which is my true inheritance.
Support me by the strength of heaven that I may never turn back,
or desire false pleasures that will disappear into nothing.
As I pursue my heavenly journey by Your grace
let me be known as a person with no aim but that of a burning desire for You ,
and the good and salvation of my fellow people.

from Valley of Vision

***
This Week's Special
Make me to know Your ways,
O LORD; teach me Your paths.
Psalm 25:4

Along the pilgrim path

2011-11-08T09:21:00.001Z

For three weeks last month, I stayed in a house right along the medieval pilgrimage route, Le Chemin de St. Jacques de Compostelle [better known to Americans by the Spanish name, El Camino de Santiago de Compostela].

The summer rush was long past, but through my open window I often heard the toc toc of a staff or pole that signaled another pilgrim was coming. Every day at least a half-dozen would walk by on their way to the western edge of Spain where the body of the apostle James was said to be found in the 9th century and a shrine was later built.

Almost finished with the day's 12 mile stretch from Moissac to Auvillar, the pilgrims would pause for a drink or look at the map or use the public toilets, before hiking up a very steep incline to spend the night in the village.

The majority looked more like hikers than what I expected pilgrims to look like. Actually I don't know what kind of outfit I thought they should wear, just not something that looked like it came straight from the REI catalog or whatever the European equivalent of high end outdoor clothing is.

Some came on a donkey or with a horse hauling their pack [though there are companies that will transport your bags for you from one stop to another.] Others were biking the 940 mile route from Le Puy, France to Santiago, Spain.

There are four main pilgrimage routes through France, but the Le Puy route is probably the most popular. In the summer, they say 40 to 50 pilgrims pass through every day. But many who make the pilgrimage start further south, on the French border for a 30 day walk to Santiago, though you only need to walk 100 kilometers or bike 200 kilometers to get the authentic 'I hiked the Camino' pilgrim's certificate.

Most of the time, I just watched the parade from my window, an observer not a participant. But one Sunday I worshipped with pilgrims at the abbey in Moissac, a major stop on the route. I often biked along a nearby stretch through farmland and along the Canal du Midi, and I did walk along the chemin for 3 miles one day. I'd like to say I undertook that journey for deeply spiritual reasons, but the truth was I was going to have lunch at a well known restaurant in the neighboring village, and without a car or public transportation, the only way to get there was on foot. How medieval.

over the river and through the woods we went
a signpost along the way told us we were going in the right direction
almost there

the earthly goal

I wasn't much different from a lot of people who do the pilgrimage for sport or culture or purely historical interest. Almost a quarter of a million people do this pilgrimage every year, but that's half of what it was in the 11th century. Considering the population of Europe at the time, a half million is an impressive number, even more so when you realize that the Santiago pilgrimage was not the first, but the third most popular destination at the time, behind Rome and Jerusalem.

All those medieval pilgrims not only walked to Santiago de Compostelo, but without trains or cars or planes, they had to walk all the way home as well. It was an expensive and sometimes dangerous journey, taken as a penance or for spiritual guidance or growth. Over time it became well-organized, and a travel guide was written to help pilgrims know what routes to take, where to stay and what to avoid.

a typical medieval pilgrim in a blue robe, with a wide brimmed hat, a staff, and a scallop shell, the symbol of the Santiago pilgrimage

I finally saw a 'real' pilgrim, while I was out biking one day, complete with his hat, staff, scallop shell painted with cross, and a three-inch crucifix hanging from his backpack. Like most pilgrims I met, it was easy to strike up a conversation with him. He had started in Geneva, and was staying in homes along the way, rather than hotels.

For those who follow Jesus, there's no requirement to go on a pilgrimage [unlike Muslims for whom making the pilgrimage to Mecca is one of the five obligations, as 3 million did this week]. But there is something about the idea of pilgrimage that remains appealing . You have a clearly defined goal, a clearly defined path, you get rid of the burdens and boredoms of daily life, and travel simply, following in the foot steps of others who have gone before, often in the company of others who on the same journey. I think in some ways, Le Chemin de St. Jacques has become a horizontal Mount Everest--people do it because it's there.

But the truth is whether I walk the chemin or whether I never leave home, I've become a pilgrim too. The word 'pilgrim' comes from the Latin peregrinus which means foreigner or stranger. I'm only passing through this world as I follow Jesus home.

My spiritual ancestors who walked on the road of faith knew that:
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13-16

Our pilgrimage to heaven is a long road. At the start it can be exciting, but after awhile, the pack begins to chafe, boots begin to rub. The initial thrill disappears. We have to endure hard times and lonely moments. There are unwelcoming villages, sour hosts, and bad weather. We start to acquire things that weigh us down and make the journey harder: possessions, worries, concerns. As the life of faith become difficult, it's easy to think about stopping or turning around. We can forget what is waiting at the end of the journey.

Thankfully God didn't intend for us to make the pilgrimage alone. In the company of our fellow travelers, our troubles are divided and our joys are doubled. We bear each others' burdens and share our supplies. We remind each other of our destination as we put one weary foot after another, giving us the courage to keep on going, all the way to the end.
Happy are the people whose strength is in You, whose hearts are set on the pilgrims way…they go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84:4,6

Speaking of God's forgiveness

2011-11-04T07:14:00.000Z

Corrie Ten Boom, author of The Hiding Place, knew how hard it can be to forgive. Here are three quotes from her:

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.

***

Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain.
There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.

***

It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, a former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie's pain-blanched face.

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” He said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I prayed, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.

This Week's Special
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

Learning how God forgives

2011-11-01T07:02:00.002Z

Last week, I couldn't go to church. The village where I was staying only had a service once a month, and I didn't have time to bike three miles to the weekly service in a larger town before I started the first leg of my trip home. So on the train to Marseille, I listened to a free sermon I had downloaded by Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. It was from a series he gave on the Parable of the Lost Son, and this sermon focused on the father's forgiveness.** In it, Keller answered the big question I always had about forgiveness.

I knew that since I've experienced God's forgiveness myself, I'm expected to forgive others. I knew how many times I'm supposed to forgive [seventy times seven]. But I never understood how contrite a person needed to be before I could grace them with my forgiveness. What were the conditions the person needed to fulfill? What kind of repentance did they have to show? The idea that forgiveness might be an easy get-out-of-jail free card always struck me as unfair [unless I was the one being forgiven, in which case I would happily take the offered forgiveness without ever being bothered whether I really deserved it or not.]

For many years there was a person I'll call Milly [now dead] who regularly and systemically trespassed against me. She never really accepted who I was, and rarely loved me without conditions. I struggled to forgive her. I knew I was supposed to, but I couldn't get past the fact that she never admitted wronging me. In a sense, there was nothing for me to forgive. In another sense, that wasn't true at all. Even if she didn't think she had sinned against me, I was still chalking up a very large debt for her in the account I kept. I maintained an extensive catalog of all the ways she had hurt me, wronged me, mistreated me, was insensitive to me, manipulated me, acted thoughtlessly, etc.

I told myself I would be willing to forgive her when she asked for my pardon. This is how I thought God's forgiveness worked in my life: I admitted I was wrong, confessed my sin, and then had the slate wiped clean. But since Milly never said she was sorry, I held my forgiveness in reserve. Sometimes I did forgive her in my heart, but it was always grudgingly, with a "Yes, but". Yes, but she hurt me. Yes, but she didn't say she was sorry. Yes, but it's not fair. This didn't get me very far. Though I cared for her the best I could, under the surface I was usually clenching my teeth and I was always ready to tell someone about my grievances against her.

Keller pointed out that this is not God's way. God's forgiveness is assertive, aggressive even. It takes the initiative. It makes the first move. The father in the parable illustrates this by going out to his returning son before the son has a chance to say he's sorry. The father sees his son a long way off and he is filled with compassion for him [something I rarely felt towards Milly]. He then runs to him, throws his arms around him and kisses him, all before the son has uttered a single world.

There were no preconditions or conditions for the son to meet. And when the son does speak and acknowledges he has wronged his father, the father basically ignores the confession. He doesn't demand restitution. He doesn't ask "Are you really and truly sorry for the way you have hurt me?" Instead, he tells his servants to get nice clothes and a ring for him, and to throw a big party to celebrate.

That was very convicting for me. But I did notice that there was one small but significant precondition: the son was on his way home. The father had not gone out and tracked him down. I soon realized that doesn't get me off the hook though. Although the parable suggests there's the precondition of the son's return, in real life Jesus died for me before I had any desire to come back. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us."[Romans 5:8] I was living happily in the pig sty, as it were, when He cancelled my debt. There was no guarantee I was ever going to return and accept what He did for me.

Keller's second point was that forgiveness is sacrificial. He explained that when someone wrongs you, they've robbed you. Maybe they've stolen love away from you, or respect or peace or affirmation. Whatever it is, they've brought both pain and loss into your life, and someone has to pay for the loss and someone has to absorb the pain.

My question about what a person needs to do before I can forgive them acknowledges this reality. Instinctively we know that someone has to right the wrong. I can't just say, "It doesn't matter." Because it does. I've been hurt, and I've been stolen from. A wound has been left that needs to be healed. A debt has been created that needs to be paid. I almost always think it is the other person who should do this. But God's approach was to have my debt cancelled through the death of Jesus without me even asking for it. Forgiveness came to me freely, though it wasn't free. Jesus paid it . And that was exactly what God wanted me to do with Milly: forgive her debt to me. He wanted me to absorb the pain rather than retaliate and inflict pain on her [or at least make her grovel].

This feels impossible. It feels too hard to go around canceling debts and absorbing pain. Keller acknowledged this with his third point: the only way it's possible to forgive this way is by having inner power. The source of that power comes from God who has completely forgiven me and fully loves me. Because of what He has done for me and the relationship I have with Him, I can do this. If I have a billion dollars in the bank, it's not difficult for me to absorb a hundred dollar debt because I know I'm not going to run out of money.

God isn't asking us to become self-righteous martyrs. He simply wants us to forgive people by drawing on the unlimited spiritual account He's given to us. And if we follow His example, we do this before the person asks for it. Another great preacher in my life, Jack, says this is like two adjoining hotel rooms. Each room has a door that leads into the other one and both doors need to be unlocked for the two rooms to be connected. In forgiving, I unlock my door. I'm supposed to do this as soon as I can, rather than waiting until the other person knocks.

I'd like to think that if Milly had lived longer, I would have been able to truly forgive her. Not because there would have been no more debt to pay, but because as I experienced God's love more deeply in my life, I would have become willing and able to absorb the pain. It wouldn't have been easy. It would have required me to spend a lot of time talking with God and working it through with Him, processing the hurt and not just stuffing it away.

On a much smaller scale, I now have a very aggravating situation in my life where I continually need to offer forgiveness and it is a big struggle for me. Virtually every time in this country when I am waiting patiently, obediently, and legally to make a left turn at a traffic light, someone cuts me off. And it's usually not just one person, but three people coming from behind on the right and one or two coming from behind on the left, and another zooming down the opposite lane of traffic to get ahead of everyone. I yell. I honk. I seethe. I fume. I curse. It's an injustice against me. I'm being robbed of my place in line.

I think I finally understand what Jesus meant when He said:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist the evildoer. But whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. And if someone wants to sue you and to take your tunic, give him your coat also. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to the one who asks you, and do not reject the one who wants to borrow from you. [Matthew 5:38 -42]

The driver who cuts me off is definitely an evildoer. He has hit me on one cheek. And I'm supposed to turn the other. I'm not supposed to resist. This seems so counter to survival. But I've driven here twice since listening to this sermon and when people have cut me off, I've released them from their debt. I'm not turning into a doormat. I'm claiming my privileges as the daughter of the Most High King.** I'm trusting Him for justice and vengeance when necessary. I'm relying on Him for the power to forgive.

I don't think this is going to be the end of my struggle with forgiveness. In fact, as I've been writing this, another person has come to mind whom I've held a grudge against for a long time. I've occasionally worked on forgiving them, but I haven't been willing to absorb the pain. Now I know this is the place where my praying starts.

"Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done. That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything."
Mark 10:22-23, The Message

**Links and notes
You can download the sermon, And Kissed Him, here.

a post about being God's beloved

Speaking of gentleness

2011-10-28T10:19:00.002+01:00

A prayer from Scotty Smith [author of Objects of His Affection]

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Phillipians 4:5

"Dear Lord Jesus, no one is more gentle with us than you. No one is as welcoming of sinners, as kind to the broken hearted, or as understanding of the struggling as you.

You’re gentle, yet firm; gentle, yet so very powerful. Bruised reeds and smoldering wicks love your appearing (Matt. 12:20). The weary and heavy burdened find solace in you (Matt. 11:28).

You’re the perfect surgeon—the one we want working on us.
You never get flustered, agitated, or hurried.
You have a steady hand because of your steady heart.
Come, Lord Jesus, do a grace work in our hearts.
Gentle us, gentle me.
May your gentleness be evident to all, wherever you place us.
Relax our rigid hearts.
Take the edge off our edge.
Free us from needing to be in control of people and circumstances.

Gentle me when I face both fair and unfair criticism.
Gentle me when winning an argument becomes more important than loving well.
Gentle me when I’m behind slow drivers who stay in the fast lane.
Gentle me when someone eats the piece of pie I hid in the back of the refrigerator.
Gentle me when a vacation gets cut short by crises.
Gentle me when I find a new ding in my car door.
Gentle me when I want to run away, and yet I know you’re telling me to be still, wait and trust you.

Gentle me when friends keep making the same mistakes and foolish choices.
Gentle me when I need a nap but my world wants to dance.
Gentle me when I’m sure I’m really right, and equally sure my spouse is really wrong.
Gentle me when the restaurant sends me home with the wrong takeout order.
Gentle me when Satan starts condemning me for things I actually did, but things for which you’ve already paid my debt.

Gentle me when I cannot fix the very people you never gave me to fix.
Gentle me when there’s more month left over at the end of the check.
Gentle me when I hear bad theology and want to “take somebody out.”
Gentle me when I’m awaiting an overdue biopsy report.
Gentle me when I cannot make things right that went so wrong.

Jesus, because of your nearness to us in the gospel;
because you actually live in our hearts;
because we’ve never been closer to your blessed return…
gentle us.
May your gentleness be increasingly evident to all.
So very Amen we pray in your kind and loving name."

Speaking of contemplating Jesus

2011-10-21T21:26:00.002+01:00

Without the gospel
everything is useless and vain;
without the gospel
we are not Christians;
without the gospel
all riches is poverty,
all wisdom folly before God;
strength is weakness,
and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God.

But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made
children of God,
brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ,
fellow townspeople with the saints,
citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven,
heirs of God with Jesus Christ by whom
the poor are made rich,
the weak strong,
the fools wise,
the sinner justified,
the desolate comforted,
the doubting sure,
and slaves free.
It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.

It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone.
For he was sold, to buy us back;
captive, to deliver us;
condemned, to absolve us;
he was made a curse for our blessing,
a sin offering for our righteousness;
marred that we may be made fair;

he died for our life; so that by him
fury is made gentle,
wrath appeased,
darkness turned into light,
fear reassured,

despisal despised,
debt canceled,
labor lightened,
sadness made merry,
misfortune made fortunate,

difficulty easy,
disorder ordered,
division united,
ignominy ennobled,

rebellion subjected,
intimidation intimidated,
ambush uncovered,
assaults assailed,

force forced back,
combat combated,
war warred against,
vengeance avenged,

torment tormented,
damnation damned,
the abyss sunk into the abyss,
hell transfixed,
death dead,
mortality made immortal.

In short,
mercy has swallowed up all misery,
and goodness all misfortune.

And we are
comforted in tribulation,
joyful in sorrow,
glorying under harsh criticism,
abounding in poverty,
warmed in our nakedness,
patient amongst evils,
living in death.

In short, this is what we should seek in the whole of Scripture:
truly to know Jesus Christ,
and the infinite riches that are comprised in him
and are offered to us by him from God the Father.

John Calvin, 1534

This Week's Special
...All things were created by Him and for Him.
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together...

For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him,
and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven,
by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.

Colossians 1:17, 19-20

Jesus in Ordinary Time

2011-10-17T23:43:00.002+01:00

We're living in Ordinary Time these days, the liturgical period that comes after Pentecost. The seasons of Advent to Christmas and Ash Wednesday to Easter bring a sharp focus on Jesus: virgin birth, crucifixion, resurrection, ascension. The holy holidays come with special preparations and music and celebrations.

In contrast, Ordinary Time has a more general focus on "the mystery of Christ in all its aspects." It's the period when he grew in wisdom, and then went around preaching and teaching and healing. There are moments of excitement, but life goes on in its quiet daily rhythm, giving us a chance to step back every so often and reflect in simple ways on who Jesus is.

That's what I did this past week, listening to two songs that describe the richness and fullness of all that He is and all that He does. I love the way they both encompass the breadth and height and width and depth of His character.

The first is an old hymn put to new music, Savior and Friend [scroll down to the third track]

Rest of the weary, Joy of the sad,
Hope of the dreary, Light of the glad
Home of the stranger, Strength to the end,
Refuge from danger, Savior and Friend!

Pillow where lying, Love rests its head,
Peace of the dying, Life of the dead
Path of the lowly, Prize at the end,
Breath of the holy, Savior and Friend!

When my feet stumble, I’ll to Thee cry
Crown of the humble—Cross of the high
When my steps wander, over me bend
Truer and fonder, Savior and Friend

Ever confessing Thee, I will raise
Unto Thee blessing, Glory and praise
All my endeavor, World without end
Thine to be ever, Savior and Friend!
-------------------------

The second song is a litany of the names of Jesus, sung in French by Chemin Neuf, a Catholic-Protestant renewal community that began in France. The video includes the words in French, but here is the English translation.

Alpha and Omega
The first and last
The beginning and the end

Only begotten son
First-born over all creation

from the dead, first-born
Jesus, Savior

Word from God
Word of Life
Word made flesh in Jesus

Him who comes from heaven
In the name of the Lord
God with us
Emmanuel

Refrain:
Come, sing his praises
Come, adore him
Enter, bow down
Kneel before God who made us

Joy of Abraham
Son of David
son of Joseph
son of Adam
Son of the living God
The son of Mary
Beloved son
Joy of the Father

The Son of Man
The Son of God
Brother of men
the Child King

Image of God
Power of God
Glory of the Lord
Gift of God

Judge of the oppressed
Physician of sinners
Healer of the nations
The son crucified
Mirror of our sins
pierced heart
Redeemer
Jesus, Savior

The true temple
the Lamb that was slain
innocent victim
our Passover lamb
Bread from heaven
the spirit and life
the eternal covenant of the Father

Come, sing his praises
Come, adore him

Radiant star
Morning star
Sun of Justice
rising Sun
Sun of the Lamb
Torch of Zion
Light of the World
True light

Guarantor of the covenant
Husband of Zion
Consolation of Israel
Signal for the peoples
Standard in Zion
Desire of nations

Jesus, Lord

Church in Rhodes, Greece

Take two on being the object of affection: my earthly father

2011-10-12T18:11:00.010+01:00

When I read "The Objects of His Affection"**, I was in the states visiting family, and experiencing the reality that along with being the object of my Heavenly Father's affection, I'm also the object of my earthly father's affection. When he greets me, there is a warmth in his voice and a smile on his face, and I know he is glad to see me. It makes me feel so valued. And it's a wonderful picture of how God welcomes us home.**

My father has loved me well, in so many ways. He always focuses on the good things I do, and gracefully overlooks my shortcomings, a model of how love covers a multitude of sins.** He encouraged me to do whatever interested me. When I became an adult, he was always ready to loan me money, no questions asked. He didn't judge my choices, or the choices of my four brothers.

By his example, I learned reverence, saying grace at every meal. I learned faithfulness as we went to church every single Sunday, and I would watch him bowing his head and repeating the Apostle's Creed. He suffered a tremendous loss but did not become bitter after my mother died. He remarried and loved well again, [going on 54 years].

He worked two jobs to provide for his five children, teaching junior high math all week, and then on Saturday getting up at 5 AM and working all day at the post office. Sundays, we we went to the early church service so we could drive out to my grandparents for the rest of the day, returning home after supper. He must have gotten tired, but he never complained. In fact, I remember him singing songs as we drove home in the dark.** In his spare time, he paid the bills, and did the grocery shopping, always coming home with a bargain or store special, showing me how to be thrifty.

He modeled a concern for the oppressed and a sense of justice. In the 60s, living in a town with a total of two African-American families, he still joined the local branch of the NAACP** and worked for equal housing in the area. When an African-American family in a nearby town was told there were no apartments available, he went and proved that wasn't true by asking to rent one.

He taught me hospitality by hosting [along with my mother of course] African exchange students, once for an entire school year. He taught me honesty. He taught me forgiveness and not holding a grudge. He taught me how to live in a wealthy town and yet resist succumbing to materialism and greed. He taught me practicality and foresight: after he remarried when I was two, he chose to move to the wealthy town because it gave full tuition scholarships to residents at the local all-women's college. 16 years later, I ended up going there, and graduated without any college loans to pay off. After I left home, he continued to serve me. When he came to visit, he cleaned my oven. He babysat for our daughters. One night, he drove 2 hours to come pick me up after my car had broken down.

He modeled a fruitful post-retirement life by helping to start a vocational school in the area and helping the elderly with their taxes every year. He enjoyed life too, singing in an all-male glee club and traveling to Europe every year, and going to Elderhostels in the states.

Today he is celebrating his 89th birthday. He is still faster than an earthworm**, continuing to help make meals when family comes.

He takes pride in his children and grandchildren, and delights in his great-grandchildren.

He's not perfect, of course, but whatever his faults, he has always loved me unconditionally, no strings attached, no expectations to meet. I'm so thankful for such a wise and loving earthly father.

**Links and notes
Objects of His Affection
**But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:21

**Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8

**Aba Daba Honeymoon, one of my father's favorites

**The NAACP [National Association for the Advancement of Colored People] is a one-hundred year old civil rights organization.

**This expression comes from a Margo Hennebach song, On Preacher's Hill, about her aging father-in-law. "Mark's dad is older now, but as he told Mark during a walk this summer,"I'm still faster than an earthworm."

Praise and Worship music, 13th century-style

2011-10-08T23:37:00.001+01:00

I'm living in a medieval world here. Not only is the medieval pilgrim path right outside my window, next door, there's a chapel that's over a thousand years old, built in the 9th century and renovated in the 15th century.

I decided it would be nice to listen to medieval music as well, specifically Gregorian chant. That's how I stumbled upon this beautiful 13th century hymn, [originally in Latin of course, though I don't think much is lost in translation.] You can hear it sung by the monks of Santo Domingo de Silos here.

Come, Holy Spirit,
and give out
the heavenly radiance of Your light;

come, Father of the poor,
come, giver of gifts,
come, light of all hearts;

best of comforters,
sweet guest of the soul,
refreshingly sweet;

Our rest in labor,
calm in the storm,
solace in weeping.

O most blessed light,
fill the inmost heart
of thy faithful.

Without Your divine will
there is nothing in a man,
nothing is wholesome.

Wash what is soiled,
water what is parched,
heal what is wounded.

Bend what is set firm,
warm what is cold,
rule over what has gone astray.

Give to Your faithful,
who trust in You,
Your sevenfold gifts.**

Reward the virtuous
release the rescued,
give joy for ever
Amen. Alleluia

Amen. Alleluia.

**Notes
** The sevenfold gifts refer to Isaiah 11:2-3
The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD—
and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

For Latin lovers, here's the original text:

Veni, Sancte Spiritus,
et emitte caelitus
lucis tuae radium.

Veni, pater pauperum,
veni, dator munerum
veni, lumen cordium.

Consolator optime,
dulcis hospes animae,
dulce refrigerium.

In labore requies,
in aestu temperies
in fletu solatium.

O lux beatissima,
reple cordis intima
tuorum fidelium.

Sine tuo numine,
nihil est in homine,
nihil est innoxium.

Lava quod est sordidum,
riga quod est aridum,
sana quod est saucium.

Flecte quod est rigidum,
fove quod est frigidum,
rege quod est devium.

Da tuis fidelibus,
in te confidentibus,
sacrum septenarium.

Da virtutis meritum,
da salutis exitum,
da perenne gaudium, Amen, Alleluia.

Another display of God's brilliance: Passion Flower

2011-10-06T00:34:00.001+01:00

Today was my first full day at an artist's colony in southwest France, and it was filled to overflowing with wondrous and amazing sights. My camera got quite a workout with the Canal du Midi a stone's throw away, the exhibition of doors painted by mentally-handicapped adults in the courtyard, pilgrims passing by my window on their way to Santiago de Compestela in Spain, a visit to two artists' studios, and a leisurely stroll exploring the little medieval village here. [It is billed as "One of France's 100 Most Beautiful Villages" which I was convinced was marketing hyperbole until I walked through it.]

But the most amazing sights of the day belonged to the Master Artist and Creator. To start, I went to the market:

The incredible beauty of lettuce, pears, apples

Then, walking down one of the utterly quaint lanes of the village, I stopped to take a picture of an old vine-covered wooden door and bell.

That was beautiful enough, but then I saw a flower on the vine that just took my breath away: a multi-colored, multi-textured, multi-level creation.

Count the colors

Count the textures

Count the layers

It was named Passion Flower by Spanish Christians in the 15th century who came up with symbolic meaning for the various parts, connected to the crucifixion of Jesus. [For starters, the radial filaments suggest the crown of thorns.]

The vine also produces Passion Fruit but it must be past the season because I didn't see any fruit. There were also only two flowers in bloom on the entire vine, though there were plenty of shriveled blossoms and a handful of new ones. They didn't look remarkable at all, and if someone had come along and plucked the two flowers off, I would have never known the beauty given by this lowly, common-looking vine.

I know there have been times when I've encountered a person and not realized the gifts and richness of their life. Maybe they were at the end of one season or the beginning of another. Maybe all their blooms were picked off. They appeared like an ordinary vine, and I passed by without paying attention to them. Jesus, however, was constantly treating people based on the spectacular potential he knew was in them: Zaccheus, the woman caught in adultery, the demon-possessed man, Lazarus, Peter, Paul. Each one of them displayed how God can produce amazing flowers from common vines. I want to become more like Jesus this way, to see the people in my life through the eyes of faith, confident in the power and brilliance of the Master Artist at work in them.

Speaking of God's redeeming love

2011-10-01T19:19:00.000+01:00

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.
It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?"
God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.
We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children.
And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!

Romans 8:17-20 The Message
***

"Why did God send the Son? To rule as a tyrant, to inspire terror and astonishment? No, he did not. No, he sent him in gentleness and mildness. To be sure, as a king sending his royal son, he sent him as God. But he sent him as to men, as saving and persuading them, and not as exercising force. For force is no attribute of God."

Epistle to Diognetus

***

"Force is no attribute of God". That is the basic principle for Trinitarian theologians. God's divinity does not consist in his ability to push things around, to make and break, to impose his will from the security of some heavenly remoteness, and to sit in grandeur while all the world does his bidding. Far from staying above the world he sends his own glory into it. Far from imposing he invites and persuades. Far from demanding service from men and women in order to enhance himself, he gives his life in service to them for their enhancement. But God acts toward the world in this way because within himself he is a life of self-giving.

Arthur McGill
***

This week's special
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesian 3:16-21

Bedtime Snack: Objects of His Affection

2011-09-28T19:55:00.001+01:00

The death of Jesus allows us to look into our Judge's face and see a Bridegroom. This is the heart of the good news, the gospel: Jesus has been punished for our sins so that the floodgate of God's affection can be loosed on us like a healing river! He died that we might dance.

Scotty Smith

I've just finished reading Objects of His Affection by Scotty Smith. As an extended meditation on how our hearts can become alive to the compelling love of God, the book is a perfect complement to my recent reflections about being God's beloved. Smith explores why we can have such a hard time really experiencing God's love, taking his personal story as the prism.

Chapter by chapter, he reveals the fallout in his life after his mother died in a car accident when he was 11. In the years that followed, she became a taboo subject in the family. In high school, he began to follow Jesus but there was a gap between his knowledge of God's love and his experience of it.

Two things started to define Smith more than the fact that he was God's beloved: his busy, noisy heart, and that he hadn't dealt with his mother's death. As a result, God's love was blocked in his life, both to him, and through him to others. The result was detachment, busyness, withdrawal, passivity, fear, coupled with an arrogant, wordy spirituality [that's not a typo-- wordy is exactly the word Smith uses].

"A wall of self-protection, a commitment to controlling my world, and a lifestyle of staying busy took over. For the next season of life, theological knowledge and ministry became a substitute for learning how to relate to people and to love well."

But God continued to love him. Smith discovered that "in the theater of His word, through the care of friends, by the pain of suffering, with the help of all kinds of allies, God pursues and calls to us." It didn't happen overnight, but eventually Smith was able to face his mother's death, talking to his brother and father about her. As a result, an obstacle to accepting love and loving well was removed from his heart.

I was especially interested to read this book because Smith's story parallels my own in many ways. Though I was only a baby when my mother died, I too grew up carrying an unknown loss, and then came to Jesus and had a deep experience of God's comforting love. I easily took on the view that because Jesus was now living in me, everything would be wonderful. But there was a large part of me that remained closed off. No one--myself, God, family, friends, was allowed to open that door. Like Smith, I eventually came to a crisis point and discovered that carrying the unacknowledged burden of my mother's death for so many years had warped and deformed my heart. First came spiritual and emotional surgery, then reconstruction. The healing did not happen overnight, and it often seemed more painful than the pain I hadn't allowed myself to feel. But I didn't do this on my own and I like the analogy Smith uses about God's approach to repairing the sorry condition of our souls:

"To be a Christian is to be accepted by God on the basis of the tarp of his righteousness,which he graciously places over us in Christ,
not on the basis of our efforts to reconstruct or remodel our own lives or even the degree to which the project has progressed.
In fact, God doesn't only provide the tarp, he is the whole construction team,
actively working in our hearts to make us more and more like Jesus."

As God continued to work in me, His love began to transform the broken places in me. His instruments for healing included friends and family and a wise therapist. I look back now many years later truly amazed at the changes that have resulted in my life. There's been a domino effect of grace. One experience of God's mercy has lead to the next.

As Smith says, "As our heart gets unstuck, the river of God's grace and mercy can flow through it with greater ease and healing….we are redeemed to become conduits, not merely receptacles of God's love and compassion...the whole point of the Christian life is to bring glory to God as more and more obstacles to loving well are removed from our hearts."

Amen.

Speaking of being loved

2011-09-25T09:18:00.004+01:00

God not only accepts you but He also richly enjoys you…
your company is His pleasure,
your fellowship His joy,
your face His delight.

Scotty Smith
***

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as he is.

I John 3:1-2
***

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

Philo of Alexandria or Plato [take your pick]
***

I'll know my name as it's called again.

Marcus Mumford**
***

This Week's Special
I have made you, you are My servant;
Israel, I will not forget you.
I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to Me,
for I have redeemed you.
Isaiah 44:20-21

Links
**from The Cave by Mumford and Sons
Mumford and Son is a grittier and funkier band than Jason Gray, and presents truth in a metaphorical way

Take two on identity crisis: Remind me

2011-09-20T23:14:00.003+01:00

I always find it disorienting and stressful to come back home after a few weeks in the states, and last week was no exception.

It wasn't just traveling across five time zones or no longer being able to chat in English with the store clerks.It wasn't just seeing the brown landscape that is going to hang around for another five months or the bathroom scale that told me, yet again, I had returned with a few extra pounds.

It wasn't just being back in an underdeveloped country where cars share the city streets with donkey carts, or discovering I was completely out of practice dealing with drivers who so blatantly disregard the traffic laws that they make the ones in Boston look good.**

It was also the simple fact that I wasn't on vacation any more. I came back to the house which, in the absence of enchanted organizational elves, looked pretty much how I left it, including rooms filled with too many books not yet read, cds not yet listened to, movies not yet watched. I'm thankful for this abundance I import from the states, but it still stresses me to see the piles after being away.

The first day back, I felt like I was drowning, cut off from land. There were so many pictures to go through, so many groceries to buy, so much to plan for. Fortunately, the next morning when I finally woke up, I went straight to spend some time with God and I found myself reading this devotion for the day:

"How can we not lose our souls when everything and everybody pulls us in the most different directions? How can we "keep it together" when we are constantly torn apart?
Jesus says: "Not a hair of your head will be lost. Your perseverance will win you your lives" (Luke 21:18-19). We can only survive our world when we trust that God knows us more intimately than we know ourselves. We can only keep it together when we believe that God holds us together. We can only win our lives when we remain faithful to the truth that every little part of us, yes, every hair, is completely safe in the divine embrace of our Lord. To say it differently: When we keep living a spiritual life, we have nothing to be afraid of." [Henri Nouwen]

Obviously, that was just what I needed to hear.

Then I just 'happened' to check out Jason Gray**, a singer I had read about on the plane ride back, and the first song I came to was Remind Me Who I Am:

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name
Remind me who I am…

In the music video for this song**, there are people holding up signs to express how they feel about themselves. That day, my sign would have been this:

Jack's would have been:

But the song goes on:

...Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You

In the video, it's so powerful to see the people a second time, only this time holding up a sign declaring who they are to God.

Beloved

The reminder of that truth calmed me down. But it also challenged me. I not only need to treat myself as God's beloved; I also need to treat everyone else I see that way. I need to look past the names they call themselves, past their bad behavior and their wounded acting out.

During the last few weeks, as I've talked to friends and family in the states, and then caught up with friends here, I've been struck once more that life in this world is not easy. It's filled with loss and struggle and pain. Everyone has their cardboard sign. Everyone needs to hear God's gentle name for them. And I can't be God's voice unless I put aside my stress and take on His view of me. Then I'm able to remind my hurting friends,

Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders.

[Deuteronomy 33:12]

and

His name shall be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

[Isaiah 9:6]

**Links
If you want to know how bad Boston drivers are, read this list of characteristics. However I think over the years, they've gotten better, and actually this list is now a description of the crazy drivers here.

Jason Gray has a new album, A Way to See in the Dark and one of the more creative websites I've seen.

Watch the moving music video for Remind Me Who I Am

Speaking of God's kingdom and hell

2011-09-17T18:05:00.002+01:00

“The kingdom of the heavens is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and concealed it. He was ecstatic. He sold everything he had and bought the field.” (Matthew 13:44, PAR)
***

No one chooses in the abstract to go to hell or even to be the kind of person who belongs there. But their orientation toward self leads them to become the kind of person for whom away-from-God is the only place for which they are suited. It is place they would, in the end, choose for themselves, rather than come to humble themselves before God and accept who he is…

One should seriously inquire if to live in a world permeated with God and the knowledge of God is something they themselves truly desire. If not, they can be assured that God will excuse them from his presence. They will find their place in the “outer darkness” of which Jesus spoke. But the fundamental fact about them will not be that they are there, but that they have become people so locked into their own self-worship and denial of God that they cannot want God.

We should be very sure that the ruined soul is not one who has missed a few more or less important theological points and will flunk a theological examination at the end of life. Hell is not an “oops!” or a slip. One does not miss heaven by a hair, but constant effort to avoid and escape God. “Outer darkness” is for one who, everything said, wants it, whose entire orientation has slowly and firmly set itself against God and therefore against how the universe actually is.

Dallas Willard
***

Francis Chan interviewed by Mark Galli
"What do you think is the biggest misunderstanding contemporary Christians have about hell?I don't know if it's a misunderstanding or just an unwillingness to think about it, or accept the fact that it's there, to live our life in light of it.
I think there is also some misunderstanding on degrees of punishment. I do see Jesus saying that judgment is going to be worse for some, like the rewards are going to be better for some. But that might be a slight issue.
But the main thing is that we have tried to block [hell] out of our minds. Yet because it's written about so often in Scripture, I think God does want it on the forefront.

Is that what makes it compelling for you to continue to affirm the reality of hell? That it's so frequently mentioned?
It comes down to God and people. I have to warn people. I don't want people going there. And if they ignore it, there's a much more likely chance that they'll end up there. Obviously I take that in light of the sovereignty of God, but looking at it from a pragmatic perspective, it's like canoeing before Niagara Falls if you don't know it's there or you've got yourself deceived that there's no drop off. So one reason is my desire to love people and care for people and warn people.
The other is what I mentioned about God himself. I want to make sure that I'm being faithful to present him as he presents himself. I'm not ashamed of this, I don't understand it completely, but I surrender to it, I submit to it. And I want to proclaim it boldly now.

I would say for me the most compelling thing is that it's woven all through Jesus' teaching. You can't possibly talk about him and what he said faithfully and ignore judgment and hell.
Yeah. I read Scripture pretty simply even though I've been through seminary and everything else. I try to read with an open mind and be led by the Spirit. I try to picture myself stuck an island reading it over and over and ask, What would I naturally conclude? What would be the thing about God that I'd be most struck by? I would definitely be shocked and awed by his love, but I'm more stunned by his power, and his seriousness, his holiness maybe even more than his love. I don't want to say his love's no big deal. He loves us but nonetheless the reoccurring theme is about his power, his glory, his holiness.

In terms of the how we actually make use of this as a pastor and as communicators, should we use hell to motivate people into believing in Christ? Fear is not a very good or lasting motivator, yet Jesus seemed to matter-of-factly talk about hell.
I don't think there is a general method. Jesus presents the good news in such different ways all the time. And even the apostles do that all through the book of Acts. The good news comes to bear in different ways. You need to know who you are speaking to. What is the area of this person's life that refuses to be under the Lordship of Jesus? Is it arrogance? Self righteousness? Is it a sin issue they just won't bow the knee to? Is there no fear? Is it a misunderstanding of the eternal state?
Obviously everything always comes back to the Cross and the Resurrection. I think there has to be some openness and leading by the Spirit on how we present hell and in what context.

I thought one of Rob Bell's compelling statements was that sometimes we make the gospel sound like "Believe in Jesus or you'll go to hell." Which turns the gospel not into good news but into a threat. Have you thought about how we can talk about this reality without making it sound like a threat or spiritual extortion?
Well, that's difficult. Because don't you kind of get that when you read the Scriptures? That's a struggle I have. When I read the Scriptures, it sure seems threatening. "Don't fear man who can just kill your body. Fear God who can destroy your body and soul in hell."
I see God in his love warning me of hell because he wants me to embrace him so badly. And I don't see that as a bad thing. It's like warning my kids about not being careful in crossing the street: "Do you understand what will happen?" Maybe I overdramatize what it's like to be hit by a car. What if you got dragged under it? But I'm telling them because I so don't want that to happen."
And that's what I was telling my friend, I go "yeah, you have a choice. But in some ways, it's almost like you don't. If you really look at all the facts, how could I choose the other if I believe this?"

I read a book by Augustine some years ago on some of his meditations on the fear of the Lord, and he said it's not beneath God to use fear to move people closer to him, but he wants to eventually get us to a place where we can affirm that perfect love casts out fear. God might even use something that we would consider beneath us to use. But he doesn't want to leave us there; he wants to move us onto something more confident, hopeful, and assuring.
There are dads who let their kids get away with everything and there is no sense of authority. And it's because of that kids grow up also having a weak of God himself. He doesn't have the right to do this. We kind of learn that from our dads, who weren't strong enough to say, no, I can tell you to quit throwing a tantrum.
I see in Scripture a God who says. "Look, when I say something it goes, I don't care if your feelings are this or that. At the end of the day, I am God and I say and do what I want."

Speaking of God's love and judgment

2011-09-15T05:04:00.000+01:00

Oh How He loves me

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realise just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And O how He loves us
Oh, O how He loves us
How He loves us all
Yeah He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

David Crowder

***

If you have that condition of lostness, you may not know it. Indeed, it is most likely you will not know it, because it is inherently a condition of self-blindness. You need treatment nevertheless, if you are not to be lost forever; and being informed of your condition and what to do about it can help you find relief. Should I say nothing to you merely because you might find it insulting? I must think more highly of you than that. The reality of evil in the human heart is not something to be ignored or treated lightly.

Dallas Willard

***

My guess is that--Inveterate choosers that we are--we are forever leaning one way or another. Choosing to lean into the Holy Presence is to taste, here and now, of the kingdom of God; choosing to lean away is to taste, here and now, hell.

Scott Cairns

***
This Week's Special
I am offering you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life, then, so that you and your descendants may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

Willing to change my course

2011-09-13T17:14:00.002+01:00

In the middle of our visit to the States, Jack was going to fly back from Minneapolis to Boston late on a Saturday afternoon and then we were going to drive straight to New Jersey in time for church the next morning.

Earlier that week, on Tuesday, my father pronounced that he wasn't going to church on Sunday. There was a hurricane coming and he wasn't going to risk the roads. Even though my father was a weatherman during World War II, I thought he was overreacting just a tad. It was a full five days before the hurricane and I assumed that before the weekend, the storm would change course or fade away.

Wednesday, Jack flew off to Minneapolis. I read the weather update in the newspaper. The forecast hadn't changed. Neither had my reaction. I still expected the hurricane would disappear. Surely the fears of gloom and doom were being exaggerated by bored weather forecasters and journalists who loved a good story. On Thursday, the forecast was the same. I still thought the storm would blow over.

On Friday afternoon, with the sun shining and the sky blue, I checked the forecast on the internet. The storm was still heading towards North Carolina, and was predicted to hit New Jersey on Saturday night. Suddenly, the plan to drive down then didn't sound inviting to me. I wanted to escape the wrath of the hurricane. I called Jack and suggested that he try to change his flight to Philadelphia instead of Boston. I could drive down earlier and meet him there. Within an hour, he had changed his flight and I was driving south.

All along the northeast, people were preparing for the storm. Airports were closed. The New York subway system was shut down. People went to the store to stock up on food and candles. Bathtubs were filled with water. Other people were evacuated to safer ground.

Saturday afternoon, right on schedule, it began to rain.

Jack arrived in Philadelphia and took the train to Trenton where I picked him up. That night, the power went out and stayed out for two days.

By Sunday afternoon, the sun was shining again.

No one had to twist my arm to get me to change my plans. I willingly left 24 hours early because I believed the forecast. I knew the storm might weaken or head in a different direction, but I didn't want to chance it. Plain and simple, I didn't want to die.

It so happens I've been thinking about hell and God's judgment in recent months. I've realized that I like the idea of sharing God's good news with people, but I don't like sharing His bad news. I want the weather forecast always to be for sun and warmth. I want the storm to blow out to sea. I keep hoping that all of the passages in God's word where it talks about His judgment and coming wrath are overstatements. I don't want anyone to die.

But the spiritual forecast of Jesus was for a storm of judgment.
“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.... He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?"
Luke 12:49-51, 54-56

When I look up and see a blue sky, it's hard to believe that in a few hours and massive storm is going to come and wreck havoc. But if I trust the weatherman, I'm going to be wise and do whatever I can to escape.

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."
Matthew 24:42-44

Speaking of our true longing

2011-09-10T16:05:00.000+01:00

Everyday the enemy tries to offer you an apple, when God has already given us an orchard...We can look at how small and shriveled and worm infested the apple of temptation is. And then we can remember how bright and expansive the orchard of God’s heart is. There are acres of apples waiting for us. Miles of rows of opportunities to be at peace and serve and surrender and repent to a God who gives and gives and gives.

Jon Acuff

***

I sometimes hear Christians long for the simplicity and purity of life in the 1950s, but I guarantee you, such people are probably not black and did not grow up in the deep South.

Matt Ristuccia speaking about The Help

***

The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born.

C.S. Lewis in Till We Have Faces

**

Our tendency is to ignore the grace and glory of the present, and to ignore the brutality and banality of the past...“Memory is hunger,” Hemingway said, and I think he’s right. Our warm memories, of times we have known or of times we wish we’d known, point us to a deep longing within us for a world made right.

This is the kind of longing C. S. Lewis points to as a sign of the truth of Christianity. Lewis craved heaven, for the great “northernness” he could see in the vast sky above him, but he tied that craving to a longing experienced first in nostalgia—for the changing seasons, for the stories of childhood, for the experience of home.

In the last of his Narnia books, Lewis shows us his vision of the end. It is not an escape from creation or a flight from the past. It is instead a more “real” Narnia, of which the older Narnia was but a shadow. Life in this present Narnia comes to a close but it isn’t “over.” It was preparing one for life in a new Narnia, in which the longings of home come to fruition, ever expanding into eternity.

Russell Moore in hisreview of Midnight in Paris

***

We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade, the presence of God. The world is crowded with Him. He walks everywhere incognito. And the incognito is not always hard to penetrate. The real labour is to attend. In fact, to come awake. Still more, to remain awake.

C.S.Lewis

This Week's Special
A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God.
Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough.
I Timothy 6:6 The Message

Midnight in Paris, breakfast in Boston, noon in North Africa

2011-09-08T17:41:00.004+01:00

After the Enchanted August wedding,** I headed back to Paris for my flight the next day. I spent less than 24 hours in the City of Lights, but the brief visit was delightful all the same.

A saint from Mali dropped off another passenger at her apartment in southeast Paris. Then he drove me and the wedding photographer** to an apartment in northeast Paris, before going to his own apartment in southwest Paris. It was a true labor of love on a Sunday afternoon when half of France was also returning home. Saint that he was, he wouldn't take any money to help with gas and tolls.

The photographer and I dropped off our things and then took the metro to the Eiffel Tower to do a photo shoot with the groom's youngest brother and his girlfriend. Sunset was around 8:45 and we didn't have much time. We quickly found our way from the 19th arrondisement to the Champs de Mars.

It didn't matter that there were more tourists than Parisians...

...or that we were tuckered out from the wedding celebration or that we had eaten both lunch and supper on the run. However, the groom's brother was not just passing through and perhaps he found the experience less charming. He hadn't put any food into his 6'9" body since breakfast. He had gotten four hours of sleep the night before and he had to be at work at 7:30 the next morning. Hopefully, the enchantment of being with his girlfriend [who was leaving in a few days] made up for that.

The next day, on the plane from Paris to Boston, in one of those 'life imitates art' moments, I watched Midnight in Paris.** It's a movie about a writer who visits Paris and finds himself returning to the 1920s where he meets now-famous writers and artists.

If you've read the book Hemingway wrote about that period, The Moveable Feast,** you've probably experienced a powerful regret that you didn't get to live at that time and that place, sipping coffee at the Les Deux Magots** café in Saint Germain while hobnobbing with Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and James Joyce. As Hemingway said, "If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast." It sounds so romantic, so beautiful, so delicious...

"As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans."

Then again, maybe Hemingway waxed so eloquent about this meal because much of the time he didn't have enough money to eat. And his living conditions were on the squalid side.

The squat toilets of the old apartment houses, one by the side of the stairs on each floor with the two cleated cement shoe-shaped elevations on each side of the aperture so a locataire would not slip, emptied into cesspools which were emptied by pumping into horse-drawn tank wagons at night. In the summer time, with all windows open, we would hear the pumping and the odor was very strong...

...It was either six or eight flights up to the top floor and it was very cold and I knew how much it would cost for a bundle of small twigs, three wire-wrapped packets of short, half-pencil length pieces of split pine to catch fire from the twigs, and then the bundle of half-dried lengths of hard wood that I must buy to make a fire that would warm the room. So I went to the far side of the street to look up at the roof in the rain and see if any chimneys were going, and how the smoke blew. There was no smoke and I thought about how the chimney would be cold and might not draw and of the room possibly filling with smoke, and the fuel wasted, and the money gone with it, and I walked on in the rain.

We have indoor plumbing and central heating, the right to vote** and the ability to travel to Paris in a day, and yet Hemingway's descriptions still make us want to go back, proof that a great writer can make even poverty sound appealing.

And if you aren't a great writer, but just a good one, you can write a blog post [helped by a digital camera that requires no talent to use]that makes people covet your life. I knew when I wrote about my Enchanted August experience, it might provoke readers to envy. [I know it would have provoked *me* to envy, if I hadn't been there.] And spending an evening in Paris en route between Africa and the US is pretty nice too. In fact, there is much about my life which sounds--and is-- appealing. Invariably in the States, when I meet someone new and tell them where I live, they say something like, "Oh that sounds so wonderful. I wish I could live there. How exciting."

But long-time friends of ours have just come to the States for the first time, after a year in their home country in Africa where the electricity went off for hours every day, and bandits and sleepy drivers made traveling between cities unsafe, and public schools were very poor. Dolapo told me she couldn't understand why anyone would want to ever leave America. At least half the people at our church would agree with her, and grab a chance to move to Europe or the States in a flash.

But as rich as my life is, whenever my friend Elizabeth blogs about Portland, I feel a little twinge.** Whenever I think about Austin going to high school in western Germany, right by France and Switzerland, I feel another twinge. In Midnight in Paris, when the writer meets Picasso's mistress, he discovers she is pining to go back to the Belle Époque**. It is hard to be content with where we are. The grass always looks greener on the other side, even though it is the same God-created, God-graced grass. Chances are someone would like to trade places with you.

For me, part of the problem is that, ideally, I'd like to be God. I wish I was able to enjoy everywhere, all the time. Instead, I'm only a creature, not the Creator, and I'm limited to one place and one time. Even though I live a wonderful life, I still wish I could live in several other places right now. I'd like to live in Chiang Mai and Concord, for starters, where I could see Sam and Jeff and Lucy and Clara every day. And I'd like to live in Paris and Portland [both in Oregon and in Maine, thank you very much], San Diego, Berlin [Germany and New Hampshire], the Alps [French, Swiss and Italian], Oxford, and Carvoiero, Portugal.**

Another part of the problem is that at a distance, whether of time or geography, most lives look tempting. The idea of Paris in the 20s sounds great. But if you actually experienced the hunger, the stench of raw sewage, the blue frozen fingers and the pain of rejected manuscripts, you might not enjoy it so much. Even post-millennial life in the US which sounds so attractive to my church friends, with all the choice and opportunity and freedom, has its drawbacks. You can develop a frightening myopia on the rest of the world, and the tendency to believe that any problem can be solved with either money or personal freedom.

When I think of the saints I know, I'm struck how they all share the quality of contentment. Their life with God is so deep and rich, their worldly situation doesn't much matter to them. Most of them have volunteered to live a life serving others, which can also can sound appealing-- at a distance. Up close, they work long hours, often don't get enough sleep, give up personal freedom, don't have much opportunity to eat gourmet meals, or to visit with family. But rooted in God's love and centered in His Spirit, they are both content and filled with joy [even in the midst of suffering from which they are not exempt].

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need,
and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Phillipians 4:11-13

**Links and notes
**** Enchanted August

**David Blair is an amazingly gifted photographer as you can see from his engagement photos of the bride and groom, and his photos of another couple in Paris.

**Midnight in Paris

**A moveable feast is a holy day whose date is not fixed to a particular day of the calendar year, like Easter.

**A magot [pronounced mago] is not the French word for maggot, but for a figurine. In this case, the two magots are a pair of Chinese porcelain figurines that grace the café.

**French women did not get the right to vote until 1945.

**One of Elizabeth's posts about Portland, and life

**The Belle Epoque period last from the late 19th century to World War I.

**Carvoiero is a little Portugese fishing village with beautiful cliffs that remind me of La Jolla.

What can you see through the branches of your life?

Speaking of heaven

2011-09-03T13:52:00.003+01:00

If Heaven ain’t a gift then I ain’t getting in.

Lecrae Moore

***

We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. That is why we have peopled air and earth and water with gods and goddesses and nymphs and elves — ... projections [which] can enjoy in themselves that beauty, grace, and power of which Nature is the image.

... At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.

C.S. Lewis

***

To the heights! To the heights!

Last words of Gregory Palamas, a 14th century monk

***

This Week's Special

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in Me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am.”

John 14:1-3

Enchanted August

2011-08-31T19:36:00.002+01:00

There's a glorious movie from the early 90s which, I've discovered, many people don't know about. Enchanted April** is one of my all-time favorites, the story of 4 women who escape a dreary April in London in the 1920s and rent a villa in southern Italy, called San Salvatore. Two of them arrive at night, coming to a deserted train station in the middle of a fierce thunderstorm. Suddenly a man appears, whisks them into a carriage, and drives them on a perilous journey to the villa.

It was August instead of April, and the city was dry and dusty, not wet and soppy, but I had a similar feeling a few weeks ago when I travelled to France for a friend's wedding. I flew to Paris, took the TGV to Poitiers, and then boarded a local train to reach a station so small and remote it didn't rate a picture on the French train network website. From there, someone would pick me up and take me to the wedding location. But as I started my journey, I realized that was all I knew. I didn't have a phone number for the place; I didn't even know the street address. If no one came for me, I was going to be sunk. I had to take it on faith that I wouldn't be forgotten and everything was going to be alright.

The little train headed out of Poitiers, filled with families returning or going on vacation. The train started to climb, through a forest, then past fields of dying sunflowers.

It soon arrived at my station and a handful of people got off and quickly dispersed into cars. The parking lot was empty. There were no stores, no pay phones. My nightmare was coming true.

There was one other man waiting but he didn’t seem to be looking for anyone. Then we exchanged glances and tentative hellos, and found out that we were both wedding guests. Each of us breathed easier. Soon the groom came to pick us up and whisked us away on a perilous journey on a narrow two lane road [driving as if he was back in Egypt where he lives].

Then we arrived at the wedding site. It felt like coming home. I only knew the groom and his family, but I soon met old unknown friends from South Africa [the bride's country] and the Middle East and France, and the States and England.

We found our sleeping spots in one of the half dozen stone buildings on the property. It reminded me of an old song we used to sing:
"I can't wait to see heaven
and to walk those streets of gold
I can't wait to check into my mansion,
and get my sleeping bag unrolled."

I slept in the "Petite Maison"

We gathered with the rest of the guests [about 60 at that point] for supper, eating on long tables.

Then some went off to worship while others pitched in to prepare the next day's wedding feast.

The next morning, I got up early to help serve breakfast.

I joined with another new friend to cut the wildflowers other guests had collected that morning from the fields.

Then it was time for the wedding. There was something heavenly about the service, conducted at various points in English, French, and Afrikaans. The pastor pointed out how this wedding celebration was an illustration of the one that awaits us. The bride and groom had done the legal paperwork several weeks earlier in Egypt. But this was the day they were joining together in marriage--just like Jesus has taken care of the legal formalities for our entrance into the celestial wedding banquet, and we are waiting for the actual celebration.

After the bride and groom said their vows, they washed each others' feet. I've seen this done many times before but it was particularly moving to see the groom and the bride kneel down on the grass in their fancy wedding clothes, and perform this humble act of service. It was a powerful illustration of what Jesus did when He washed the disciples' feet.

At the end, the guests blessed the newly married couple.

Everyone gathered for the obligatory group photo.

Then came the amazing wedding feast--a combination of South African barbeque [with two meat courses] and French wine, cheese, and salads.

Throughout the weekend, there were so many examples of heaven:
people traveling from all over the world,
meeting strangers who were family,

the hospitality of the family friends who opened up the farm and all the buildings for a week,
everyone pitching in and doing their tasks to make the celebration

And all around us, there were fruit trees and flowers in bloom.
It was almost Eden.

No one wanted to leave, but Sunday, after a South African breakfast, people started to leave to catch trains and planes.

I got a ride back to Paris with a saint from Mali, and spent midnight in Paris…but that's another story.

Then the Angel showed me Water-of-Life River, crystal bright. It flowed from the Throne of God and the Lamb, right down the middle of the street. The Tree of Life was planted on each side of the River, producing twelve kinds of fruit, a ripe fruit each month. The leaves of the Tree are for healing the nations. Never again will anything be cursed. The Throne of God and of the Lamb is at the center. His servants will offer God service—worshiping, they'll look on his face, their foreheads mirroring God. Never again will there be any night. No one will need lamplight or sunlight. The shining of God, the Master, is all the light anyone needs.
Revelation 22:1-5 The Message

Links
Enchanted April...a must-see movie

Speaking of looking to Jesus

2011-08-27T10:01:00.000+01:00

The difficulty in life is to know on what we ought to concentrate. The whole art of life, I sometimes think, is the art of knowing what to leave out, what to ignore, what to put on one side. How prone we are to dissipate our energies and to waste our time by forgetting what is vital and giving ourselves to second and third rate issues...What you need is just this: the power to concentrate on that which is vital, to leave out everything else, and to keep steadily to the one thing that matters.

Martin Lloyd-Jones
***

Looking unto Jesus
in the scriptures, to learn there what He is, what He has done, what He gives, what He desires; to find in His character our pattern, in His teachings our instruction, in His precepts our law, in His promises our support, in His person and in His work a full satisfaction provided for every need of our souls.

Looking unto Jesus
the author and the finisher of our faith:that is to say, He Who is its pattern and its source, even as He is its object; and Who from the first step even to the last marches at the head of the believers; so that by Him our faith may be inspired, encouraged, sustained, and led on to its supreme consummation.

Looking unto Jesus
and not to our position in the Christian church, to the family to which we belong, to our baptism, to the education which we have received, to the doctrine which we profess, to the opinion which others have formed of our piety, or to the opinion which we have formed of it ourselves.

Théodore Monod

***

This Week's Special
Keep your eyes on Jesus,
who both began and finished this race we're in.
Study how he did it.
Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—
that exhilarating finish in and with God—
he could put up with anything along the way:
Cross, shame, whatever.
Hebrews 12: 2-3 The Message

Looking to Jesus

2011-08-25T09:02:00.000+01:00

When a woman a prepares to give birth, she's often told to choose a focal point, something to look at in the midst of the deep contractions. A few weeks ago, the sermon by preacher Dave was on Hebrews 12:2-3 which talks about God's focal point for us:
Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Dave mentioned a little booklet called Looking to Jesus.** I had never heard of it before but it's a wonderful classic, originally written in French by Theodore Monod.**

Here's a taste:

Looking unto Jesus
And not at the interests of our cause, of our party, of our church-- still less at our personal interests. The single object of our life is the glory of God; if we do not make it the supreme goal of our efforts, we must deprive ourselves of His help, for His grace is only at the service of His glory. If, on the contrary, it is His glory that we seek above all, we can always count on His grace.

Looking unto Jesus
And not at the sincerity of our intentions and at the strength of our resolutions. Alas! how often the most excellent intentions have only prepared the way for the most humiliating falls. Let us stay ourselves, not on our intentions, but on His love; not on our resolutions, but on His promise.

Looking unto Jesus
And not at our strength. Our strength is good only to glorify ourselves; to glorify God one must have the strength of God.

Links and notes
Looking unto Jesus
Régardant à Jesus for any francophiles out there

**Théodore was born in Paris in 1836 but went to seminary in the States before returning to France. Interestingly it is not Théodore who warrants a Wikipedia entry, but his much more famous uncle, Adolphe, "undoubtedly the foremost Protestant preacher of 19th century France"; his father Frédéric who helped found the Union of the Evangelical Churches of France, and his eponyomous grandson who was an explorer and an expert on the Sahara Desert.

Songs sung over a fasting city

2011-08-20T11:09:00.000+01:00

Come, ye disconsolate[Track 8]
Come, ye disconsolate, where’er you languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”

Here see the Bread of Life, see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God, pure from above.
Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.

***
Come, Ye Souls [Track 2]
Come, ye souls by sin afflicted,
Bowed with fruitless sorrow down
By the broken law convicted
Through the cross behold the crown
Look to Jesus—mercy flows through Him alone

Take His easy yoke and wear it
Love will make obedience sweet
Christ will give you strength to bear it,
While His wisdom guides your feet
Safe to glory, where His ransomed captives meet

Blessed are the eyes that see Him,
Blest the ears that hear His voice
Blessed are the souls that trust Him,
And in Him alone rejoice
His commandments then become their
happy choice

Sweet as home to pilgrims weary,
Light to newly opened eyes
Or full springs in deserts dreary
Is the rest the cross supplies
All who taste it shall to rest immortal rise

Living in black and white

2011-08-18T10:30:00.003+01:00

For the last two weeks, I've been doing something radical. I've been having yogurt and coffee in the morning.
notice the sunlight

In the afternoon, I have forbidden fruit. I eat a peach.

It's radical because I'm surrounded by 30 million people who aren't eating or drinking from 4 AM to 7:30 PM. Day and night get flipped. Stores don't open until 10 or 11. They close by 6, and may be open from 9 to 11 PM. You can't buy a cup of coffee or a pastry.

The park where I walk in the mornings is virtually deserted because no one wants to exercise when they have to wait 12 hours to have some water.

It's challenging to fast for 15 1/2 hours, but when everyone is doing it, it's easier. I'm the one who is going against the tide. And although it's inconvenient for me, it's not as hard as you might think. The black and white distinctions here don't come with much nuance. If I'm not going along with the crowd, then it's obvious I'm marching to a different drummer. So when the parking attendant asks me [somewhat hopefully, I think] if I'm fasting, I have no problem telling him the truth. And anyone who sees me go to the park at 7:30 AM, knows that I'm not joining in with the rest of the country.

I think what's much harder is living in a place where there are a hundred shades of gray. That's when it's easy to become lukewarm. Perhaps that's why God's prophets to Israel always acted so extreme, all the way up to John the Baptist with his camel hair clothes and his diet of bugs. In a hundred shades of gray, if you are going to stand out from the crowd, you're going to have to work at it.

It's like that for me when I'm in the states. But living here in black and white, it takes no effort for me to be different. And that's one reason I find this place enriching. I'm constantly challenged to think through what it means for me to follow Jesus. Being exposed to a different religious tradition makes me consider my own spiritual practices in a new light. What do I really think about fasting? What do I think about religion viewed as a cultural practice where a person can honestly say, "everyone is doing it"? Where is there a gap in my life between what I believe and what I practice?

Mostly though, I'm thankful I have the freedom to choose.
...one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It's God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
Romans 14:5-9 The Message

Speaking of the King

2011-08-12T08:06:00.001+01:00

Many old hymns talk about God as King:

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven,
to the throne thy tribute bring;
ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
evermore God's praises sing.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Praise the everlasting King.

***

O worship the King, all glorious above,
O gratefully sing God's power and God's love;
our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days,
pavilioned in splendor, and girded with praise.

[if you like drums and guitars, here's a contemporary version]
***

And some new songs talk about the King too:

All bow down, by Chris Tomlin
You're arriving with the sound of thunder and rain
You're arriving in the calm of the wind and the waves
You're arriving in the glow of a burning flame
A burning flame

Praise awaits You at the dawn when the world come alive
Praise awaits You in the darkness and shines in the light
Praise awaits You with a song of love and desire, love and desire

Here comes the King
All bow down
Lift up your voices
Unto the Lamb
He is the King
All bow down
All bow down...

***
King of Glory, by Chris Tomlin
...Who is this King of Glory?
The Lord, strong and mighty

Lift up your hands
Be lifted up
Let the redeemed
Declare the love
We bow down
At heaven's gate
To kiss the feet
Of hope and grace...

***
Clap your hands, all you nations;
shout to God with cries of joy.
For the LORD Most High is awesome,
the great King over all the earth.
Psalm 47:1-2

***
This Week's Special
He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High;
and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David;
and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever,
and His kingdom will have no end.
Luke 1:32-33

The coming of the king

2011-08-09T09:13:00.001+01:00

The king came to our neighborhood last week. The first we knew of it was in the morning when we went out and noticed that overnight the lines on the street and the curbs had been painted. When the king comes, things get spiffed up.

The next we knew, around noon, a policeman appeared at the of our street to prevent cars or people going into the main road. Everything was made ready so there would be no traffic problems, no parking problems, no disturbances. It would be smooth sailing all along. Every street along the king's route had a policeman standing guard.

People came out to watch.

Then came the waiting and waiting and waiting. No cars came by. Then some vehicles came past. A few motorcycles. One black mercedes, then another. Everyone wondered, is it him? Is it the king? Which black mercedes is his?

Suddenly, there he was, with the window down, waving to the crowd lining the route. People began to cheer. One hundred, two hundred feet. Then he was on the main road speeding along. A day's worth of preparation for a thirty-second trip past the neighborhood.

Then life returned to normal. Within a few days, the paint began to fade from the road, the curbs got scuffed.

Once again, living in this country has helped me understand what it was like back in the day of Jesus. A king was a big deal, bigger than a president or a prime minister. Think of it. The king's word was law. What he said, happened. There was no debate or discussion. Disloyalty was punished by death. Subjects owed the king a tribute. Loyalty, money, honor, reverence--this is what a king was owed .

And in this modern kingdom, you can be imprisoned for publishing disrespectful cartoons about the king, or for speculating about his health. Once a year, to commemorate his ascension to the throne, government officials publicly bow before him and renew their loyalty. He is not to be trifled with.

It's easy in our democratic age, to minimize this aspect of God's character, and to emphasize Jesus as our friend rather than our king. But the visit of the king to our neighborhood has caused me to reconsider what it means for the King of kings to be in charge of my life.
What deference do I want to show Him?
What tribute can I bring to Him?
How do I want to prepare the way for Him,
How can I make His entrance easy and honoring?

It seems to me that praise is a good place to start.

Sing praises to God, sing praises;
sing praises to our King, sing praises.
For God is the King of all the earth;
sing to Him a psalm of praise.
God reigns over the nations;
God is seated on His holy throne.
The nobles of the nations assemble
as the people of the God of Abraham,
for the kings of the earth belong to God;
He is greatly exalted.
Psalm 47:6-9

Speaking of John Stott

2011-08-03T11:20:00.001+01:00

At the age of 60, John Stott wrote:

"I was reading Leviticus 27 that day, which is about redemption prices. From it I learned that in Hebrew society "the value of a male between the ages of 20 and 60" was "50 shekels of silver", whereas at 60 he dropped 35 shekels to a mere 15! Perhaps therefore, I thought to myself, I should regard my 60th birthday as my "Devaluation Day". A Singaporean friend helped to rescue my sagging morale, however, by telling me that according to the Chinese a 60 year-old is worthy of added respect because he is now embarking on his sixth 12-year cycle.

Leaving aside these cultural perspectives, I sat that afternoon in my favourite nook on the Pembrokeshire cliffs and read the exhortation in Hebrews 12.1 to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us". So I prayed for grace to persevere in Christian faith, life and service, and a few months later was encouraged by the promise of Psalm 92.14 that God's people "will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green". May it be so!"

***
At the age of 67, John Stott reflected:

"50 years ago today, on 13 February 1938 a young man knelt at his bedside and opened the door of his heart or personality, and invited Christ to come in. I was that young man. I have now had 50 years in which to test the reality of Jesus Christ. Tonight, on my 50th spiritual birthday, I want to bear witness to him, and to the length, depth, breadth and height of his love...

When I am asked if I have any further ambition, as my life approaches its end, I answer that my overriding desire is to become more like Jesus Christ, through the transforming power of his indwelling Spirit. For that is God's eternal purpose for us all. And when Christ comes again, in spectacular magnificence, we will at last be fully like him, for we shall see him as he is.

***
At 85, John Stott said:

Pride is without doubt the greatest temptation of Christian leaders. And I’m very well aware of the dangers of being feted and don’t enjoy it and don’t think one should enjoy it.

***
More wisdom from John Stott:

At every state of our Christian development and in every sphere of our Christian discipleship, pride is our greatest enemy and humility our greatest friend.

***

If we truly love our neighbor,we shall without doubt tell him the good news of Jesus. But equally, if we truly love our neighbor, we shall not stop there.

***

We should not ask, 'What is wrong with the world?' for that diagnosis has already been given. Rather, we should ask, 'What has happened to the salt and light?'

First up in Caleb's Crew: John Stott

2011-08-02T10:37:00.004+01:00

First up in Caleb's Crew is John Stott who died last week.**

He's not a member of the crew merely because he lived to be 90, but because he kept running the race and bearing fruit long after retirement age. In the memorial video about his life, I was struck that virtually all the pictures of him in action showed him with white hair.** He wrote his last book at 88, in longhand no less.** Here was a man who didn't focus on the finish line but who kept his eyes on Jesus.

When Stott was 80, a longtime associate described Stott**:

To those who know and meet him, respect and affection go hand in hand. The world-figure is lost in personal friendship, disarming interest, unfeigned humility—and a dash of mischievous humour and charm. By contrast, he thinks of himself, as all Christians should but few of us achieve, as simply a beloved child of a heavenly Father; an unworthy servant of his friend and master, Jesus Christ; a sinner saved by grace to the glory and praise of God.

At 85, Time Magazine selected Stott as one of the world's most 100 influential people, putting him in the "Heroes and Icons" category.**

As another blogger put it last week , "He lived well, he died well, and now he lives better."**

I think you'll find it well worth it to look at the links below.

Notes and Links
Stott's obituary in the New York Times
Nicholas Kristof's column in the New York Times about Stott

video story with lots of white-haired pictures of Stott

Stott's last book,The Radical Disciple

A few talks and sermons by John Stott that you can download
Note that Stott gave these from the ages of 84 to 86

Timothy Dudley-Smith's reflections on Stott's 80th birthday

Time Magazine's profile of John Stott for their 100 most influential people issue [written by Billy Graham]
Time Magazine's full list of the 100 most influential people

Dennis Haack on Stott

New menu item: Caleb's Crew

2011-08-01T08:15:00.003+01:00

I think it's time to put another item on the Snack Bar menu called Caleb's Crew [right next to Babette's Feast**]. I never paid much attention to Caleb until this year when a friend of ours, Dan, mentioned that he wanted to develop a spirit like Caleb. I went back and read about Caleb in the book of Joshua.

Here is Caleb in his own words:

Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite spoke: "You'll remember what God said to Moses the man of God concerning you and me back at Kadesh Barnea. I was forty years old when Moses the servant of God sent me from Kadesh Barnea to spy out the land. And I brought back an honest and accurate report. My companions who went with me discouraged the people, but I stuck to my guns, totally with God, my God. That was the day that Moses solemnly promised, 'The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance, you and your children's, forever. Yes, you have lived totally for God.'

Now look at me: God has kept me alive, as he promised. It is now forty-five years since God spoke this word to Moses, years in which Israel wandered in the wilderness. And here I am today, eighty-five years old! I'm as strong as I was the day Moses sent me out. I'm as strong as ever in battle, whether coming or going. So give me this hill country that God promised me. You yourself heard the report, that the Anakim were there with their great fortress cities. If God goes with me, I will drive them out, just as God said."

85 years old and still living life to the hilt. Caleb's spunk didn't come from himself though. As a commentator talking about Caleb's courageous stand in Numbers 14 put it, "Caleb was not so much a man of great faith as a man of faith in a great God. His boldness rested on his understanding of God, not on his confidence in Israel's abilities to conquer the land."

I'm getting older. [And I know that regardless of your age, if you're alive, that's happening to you too.] I'm going to be needing models who can show me what it looks like to bear fruit in old age. Caleb's crew.

“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
planted in the courts of our God.
They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming:
“The Lord is upright; He is my Rock
and there is no wickedness in Him.”
Psalm 92:12-15

Caleb's Crew

**Notes
I'm not sure if I've ever explained Babette's Feast as a menu item. It's named in honor of Babette, the generous and gracious cook who made an amazing feast in Isak Dinesen's short story, Babette's Feast [which was then turned into a movie]. Here, Babette's Feast highlights followers of Jesus who have remarkable, though sometimes hidden, lives.

In case you were wondering

2011-07-30T20:47:00.005+01:00

Remember my turban squash?** Well in case you were wondering, it turns out that turban squash makes excellent soup. It took me a few weeks before I got around to making it, but the squash waited patiently.

Turban Squash Soup [or any kind of squash or pumpkin]
Cut squash in two.
Bake face down [unless you forget like I did and leave it face up] It takes about an hour at 350.
Fry some onions.
Put chicken broth or bouillon, onions and cooked squash in some water.
Cook some more.
Puree with a handmixer.
Add some milk, and spice as you like: salt, pepper, a touch of garlic.
Serve with grated cheese and croutons**

You probably weren't wondering if the word turban is in the Bible but I came across it the other day in Exodus. Who knew.
Make a plate of pure gold and engrave on it as on a seal: HOLY TO THE LORD. Fasten a blue cord to it to attach it to the turban; it is to be on the front of the turban. It will be on Aaron’s forehead, and he will bear the guilt involved in the sacred gifts the Israelites consecrate, whatever their gifts may be. It will be on Aaron’s forehead continually so that they will be acceptable to the LORD.
Exodus 28:36-38

Speaking of turbans, I recently saw this around town.

Now that's a turban.

Links
How to make homemade croutons
Turban Squash, another display of God's brilliance

Speaking of being beloved, take two

2011-07-23T11:28:00.001+01:00

Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood swings: from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos. A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us rather than being created by us.

Thus it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children.

Henri Nouwen

Speaking of being beloved

2011-07-22T05:27:00.002+01:00

The voice that says ‘you are My beloved’ has always been there, but other, louder voices are saying ‘prove that you are worth something; do something relevant, spectacular, or powerful, then you will earn the love you so desire…
Every time you listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls you the beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply. It is like discovering a well in the desert.

Henri Nouwen

***

Shall I ever listen, as Eve did, to the serpent's hiss of deceitful destruction?
The father of lies wraps words in figments of light to drag us downward to a certain darkness.
Yet there is One who speaks a more powerful word: Mercy triumphs over wrath.
"Let there be light!" My heart dances once more, sings the hallelujah!
So this gracious truth, this truthful grace, has silenced the foe again.
May I always trust, rest, bask, delight in my Father's life and love.
It has become to me a thing of light.

from Virginia Knowles' poem "It Became to Me a Dark Thing"

***

Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.
Song of Solomon 2:4

***

His banner over me is love

***

If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

***

For Me
I know that You’re there when I cry
With every heartbeat You’re there by my side
All that I am I give to You
cause I know You will break through
I give You my heart for I know that

You’re for me
I know that You’re for me
You’re for me

I know that You’re for me

I know that You’re there when I call
Your love to surround me
Your grace to restore
All that I am I give to You

For I know that You will break through
I give You my heart for I know that You

You’re for me
I know that You’re for me
You’re for me

Nigel Briggs

More on being beloved

2011-07-19T04:44:00.007+01:00

This past week, I faced taking a driving exam. I can't remember the last time I took a test that really counted, the kind that affects your future. It was probably 25 years ago when I applied for a job as a copyeditor. I failed, but all's well that ends well. I became an acquisitions editor instead, a job for which I was much better suited.

But last week the stakes were higher because if I failed, I faced the prospect of not being able to drive in this country. It wasn't like I could go out and find another country to drive in. Of course I've been driving a long time. Piece of cake, you might think. Not really.

First, there was the challenge of answering 40 tricky questions on a very different driving code. Then, the driving part was held in a small parking lot that looked like an obstacle course where I had to execute maneuvers like parallel parking into a tiny space. But what really made me blanch was taking the test in French. It's true that I'm a Francophile at heart, but unfortunately love of French and fluency in French are not the same thing. In my dreams, I speak like a Parisienne, but when I wake up I hover somewhere around the intermediate level. I make a mistake as frequently as you see someone committing a driving infraction here.** I didn't know the words for clutch, merge, marking, and road shoulder, to name a few.**

So I experienced a certain anxiety whenever I thought about taking the test. I experienced even greater anxiety at the prospect that I might fail.

Then I remembered my recent post about God's label for me, beloved.** This became an important touchstone for me in the days leading up to the test. Every time I considered the possibility of a negative outcome, I countered it with "Yes, but no matter what happens, I will remain God's beloved. I may fail, but that won't change what God thinks of me."

I also began reading Henri Nouwen's gem of a book, Life of the Beloved. In it, he details God's view of me:

“I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are Mine and I am yours. You are My beloved, on you My favor rests. I have molded you in the depth of the earth and knitted you together in your mother’s womb. I have carved you in the palms of My hands and hidden you in the shadow of My embrace.

I look at you with infinite tenderness, and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide My face from you. You know Me as your own as I know you as My own. You belong to Me."

I was amazed how powerful these reminders were for me. The growing balloon of anxiety kept getting punctured and I experienced something else Nouwen wrote:

“Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say or do...As long as ‘being the Beloved’ is little more than a beautiful thought or a lofty idea that hangs above my life to keep me from becoming depressed, nothing really changes.

What is required is to become the Beloved in the commonplaces of my daily existence and bit, by bit, to close the gap that exists between what I know myself to be and the countless specific realities of everyday life. Becoming the Beloved is pulling the truth revealed to me from above down into the ordinariness of what I am, in fact, thinking of, talking about and doing from hour to hour."

How true this is. I'm beloved no matter what happens, regardless whether I
pass or fail,
win or lose,
miss the train or catch it,
get a clean bill of health or discover I am sick,
find myself approved by the world or rejected by it,
speak a foreign language like a five-year old or like a native.

What challenges will you be facing in the coming weeks? What voice will you tune into?
Will you listen to the voices that shout, “you are no good, you are ugly, you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody—unless you can demonstrate the opposite”?
Or to the voice that says,
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost...
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:1-3

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty." John 6:35

**Links and Notes
** Here's a question that isn't on the driving test:
How many driving infractions do you see here every minute?
a] none
b] three
c] five
d] seven if there is no police around
Correct answer [on the exam there is often more than one right answer]: b and d

**French driving vocabularly:
clutch = l'embrayage
gear = le levier de vitesse
merge = se rabattre
marking = jalonnement
shoulder = l'accotement

** My identity crisis

P.S. I passed the test--more about that in future posts.

God the artist

2011-07-16T15:14:00.001+01:00

"God and other artists are always a little obscure." Oscar Wilde

Gibraltar at Sunset **

**not a Monet, just a photo I took while crossing the Straits

Speaking of who I am

2011-07-13T11:56:00.000+01:00

Your true identity is as a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it and settled in it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world.

It might take a great deal of time and discipline to reconnect fully your deep, hidden self and your public self, which is known, loved, and accepted but also criticized by the world. Gradually, though, you will begin feeling more connected and become more fully who you truly are - a child of God. There lies your real freedom.

Henri Nouwen

***

How blessed is God! And what a blessing He is!
He’s the Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ,
and takes us to the high places of blessing in Him.
Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, He had us in mind,
had settled on us as the focus of His love,
to be made whole and holy by His love.
Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into His family through Jesus Christ.
(What pleasure He took in planning this!)
He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son.

Ephesians 1, The Message

***

For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them His glory.

Romans 8:29, 30

***

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:15

***

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of His own, so that you may proclaim the virtues of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. You once were not a people, but now you are God’s people.

I Peter 2:9-10

***

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.

I John 3:1-3

***
This Week's Special
Bring My sons from afar
and My daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by My name,
whom I created for My glory,
whom I formed and made.
Isaiah 43:7

More on Mislabeling

2011-07-11T12:32:00.002+01:00

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.
Instead, you received God’s Spirit when He adopted you as His own children.
Now we call Him, “Abba, Father.”
Romans 8:15

Although I may be God's beloved sometimes I forget what is inside my package. I've noticed two false labels I'm particularly prone to.

The first is thinking I'm a still slave. I toil away long after I've been freed, with a nose-to-the-grindstone approach. I fill my life with shoulds and musts and oughts as if I am working for a harsh master. I'm a slave to what other people think of me, to what I want to achieve, to comfort--the possibilities for slavery are endless.

My other labeling problem is viewing myself as a little god, the master of my universe. This means living by my own strength, and it leads me into relentless activity. I think if I work long enough and hard enough I can control my world. I can fix everything, I can live independent of others including God, needing nothing.

Years ago I heard a wonderful label that truly describes who I am in Christ: daughter of the most high king. This speaks of a family relationship and an intimacy with a father who is also a powerful ruler. Other sons and daughters are my siblings. It reminds me I am freed from slavery, and also brings me down from the pedestal on which I like to stand.

My identity crisis

2011-07-07T16:19:00.003+01:00

One of the most endearing children's books I've read is "What-a-Mess"** about an Afghan Hound puppy who becomes confused about his true identity. He thinks his real name is 'What-a-Mess" because that's what everyone says when they see him. When his mother muses one night "You're no puppy of mine looking like that," he decides to go on a quest to discover who he is.

He thinks he might be a hat piece until the hat owner sticks the long hat pin in him, with disastrous results.

Then he wonders if he is a bee but he crashes to the ground.

A fish? He almost drowns. He finally gives up and returns home, looking even worse. As he goes to bed, he hears his mother say, "You're a one-puppy disaster wherever you go but deep down you're a dear." He falls asleep happy to finally know who he really is: not a dear but a deer.

Here's another example of an identity crisis, a bag that can't make up its mind if it is a long thin grain, a dried fruit, or a nut.
Ingredients: toasted dry fruits, salt.
Bar code label: Riz Jaune Long
The other side isn't any more helpful:

In one sense, labels aren't that important. The mother of What-a-Mess can call him any name she wants, but he is still an Afghan Hound puppy. I can call myself a Christian too, but that doesn't really matter either. It doesn't change what's inside the package. Whether I live a moral upright life on the outside is not what determines if I'm a Christian. What counts is accepting God's gift of salvation.**

In other sense though names can make a real difference. It seems silly that water has to be labeled--until you think of guzzling drain cleaner instead. You want to know.

Names help us distinguish which person we'd like to speak to in a crowd [though that can be harder in a country where half the men are named after their religious leader and half of the women are named after his wife]. Labels can also determine how someone treats us. During the 60s, African-Americans marched holding signs that said "I am a man". They had to assert the obvious fact to fight against the propaganda (sometimes propped up by twisted Bible verses) that they were unworthy of personhood.

Jesus didn't carry a sign saying who He was and as a result, all through the gospels, people tried to figure out His true identity. Some said He was John the Baptist. Others said He was Elijah or a prophet. Some said He was possessed by Satan. Pilate called Him "king of the Jews". Peter said He was the Christ. Others said He was a good moral teacher, others thought He was crazy, or the Son of God. Their conclusions made a big difference.

Some days I don't pay much attention to who I am in Christ. My spiritual identity feels like an abstract concept, no more than an interesting thought. However on a practical level, it can deeply influence what I do and how I respond:
Not enough money-- I may panic or be calm
Facing a new challenge--I may feel fearful or excited [or both]
Serving without being noticed--I may feel resentful or happy
Succeeding--I may feel proud in myself or I may feel thankful to God for His gifts to me
Failing--I may feel in despair or I may feel relaxed

Earlier this week I was going through my daily reflection questions,** paying attention to the feelings I had experienced the day before. It so happened that just about every negative feeling had come because I had not fully taken to heart what God has said about me**. I had felt sad, frustrated, irritated, afraid, proud, wary because I had forgotten His label for me: beloved, child, friend, Mine.

What about you? Who are you? And what difference does it make to you?

**Notes and links

**What-a-Mess by Frank Muir, out of print but copies are out there.

**What Jesus had to say about people like who were only concerned with the outside:
You're hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You're like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it's all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you're saints, but beneath the skin you're total frauds.
Matthew 20:27-28 The Message

**Other times, I may feel these exact same feelings, precisely because I have taken to heart God's view of me. But this week, it wasn't the case.

** Daily reflection questions

**What God says about me:
But now, this is what the LORD says—
He who created you, Jacob,
He who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine...
Since you are precious and honored in My sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life...

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring My sons from afar
and My daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by My name,
whom I created for My glory,
whom I formed and made.
Isaiah 43

God bless this country

2011-07-04T07:34:00.001+01:00

God bless the country where this picture was taken. [Hint, it's not the USA].

Declaration of Dependence by Steven Curtis Chapman
"Now just the other day I overheard a flower talking to the sky
He said you know that I would be nothing without You, oh, oh
He said you give me rain, you give the sun a place to shine
You’re everything that my whole existence comes down to, oh, oh
And then the flower started singing a song
Before I knew it I was singing along
And we sang…

This is my declaration of dependence
This is my declaration of my need
This is my declaration of dependence
On the one who gave His life to me..."

Another display of God's brilliance: Turban Squash

2011-07-01T19:05:00.006+01:00

I grew up with acorn squash and butternut squash and summer squash and winter squash and pumpkin and of course, truckloads of zucchini. [Though I confess I didn't acquire a taste for acorn and butternut squash until much later--like a few years ago]. Squash are, if you stare at them long enough, a little on the odd side. Except for pumpkins, I don't think any would even come close to winning a Best Looking Vegetable contest.

But then there's turban squash. Squash on fashion steroids. A squash of many colors, like Joseph's coat, that can include orange, red, green, and beige. And for good measure, the flesh inside is yellow.

I saw my first turban squash driving south along the coast road a few years ago. I remember wondering, as we passed by, what the strange looking vegetable was.

Now that I study this picture, I'm also wondering what the long red vegetables are hanging above. Does anyone know? My best guess is red eggplant [another surprise for me: who knew that eggplant comes in red?], or perhaps some giant pepper?

This week, turban squash appeared at a little vegetable stand right in the thick of downtown and I couldn't resist getting one. I thought perhaps it would be called 'mushroom squash'.

But instead the Adam who named this thought it looked more like a sultan's turban. Fair enough. The man who sold it to me said he doesn't cook them, but just puts them out for decoration. Best Looking Vegetable indeed.

I may make a pureed soup out of mine, if it doesn't go bad before our heat wave leaves. To me, the oddest thing about this squash is that it's harvested here in the thick of summer. The least oddest thing is how amazingly creative God was when He designed the things of earth.

Stepping out into the day

2011-06-29T09:54:00.003+01:00

Several years ago, when the prayer of Jabez* was popular, Jack was inspired to write his own version. It has been my morning prayer this week:

I greet you my Father this morning with a joyful heart.
Thank you for giving me this day and the grace to enjoy it fully.
I open myself to You and ask that You enable me to receive all that You want to give.
I step out into this new day seeking all the opportunities You will bring me to be Your arms and Your voice to those around me.

I know You love me and so I trust You that You will not give me more than I can handle.
In my weakness, You will make me strong.
Protect me today from the evil one. Help me to fix my eyes on Jesus and resist the distractions and temptations put before me.
Give me a servant's heart and a humble mind and fill me with the Holy Spirit so I may do Your will. Amen

*Notes
The prayer of Jabez is found in I Chronicles in the list of the tribes of Israel:
Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. I Chronicles 4:9-10

Bruce Wilkinson's eponymous book on the prayer of Jabez [I am now doubly glad that I've been able to use that word twice in one month] puts a somewhat American capitalistic spin on the two sentences that Jabez prayed.

Speaking of signature sins and becoming like Christ

2011-06-25T07:11:00.003+01:00

We do not get tempted by that which repulses us. Temptation rarely begins by trying to get us to do something that is 180 degrees in the opposite direction of our values. It starts close to home with the passions and desires that God wired into us and tries to pull them a few degrees off course. That subtle deviation is enough to disrupt the flow of the Spirit in our life, so coming to recognize the pattern of sins most tempting to us is one of the most important steps in our spiritual life.

...When a car or a body begins to wear out, it is not equally vulnerable at every point; there are inevitably a few areas that are most distressed that will be the first to go under pressure. So it is with our souls. My sin pattern is so characteristic that it can be used to identify me. It is my sin profile, and anyone who knows me well will recognize my sin profile in a moment. In fact, other people often know my sin profile better than I do myself.

John Ortberg

***

Oswald Chambers said that the root of all sin lies in the suspicion that God is not good. We sin when we don’t want to trust God in a particular area of our lives and we want to keep control of it ourselves. I might know in my head that God is good, but in hidden parts of my heart, I am still suspicious. That is the story of the relationship between God and the human race. We always drift toward trusting ourselves more than God.

Michael Mangis

***

The revolution of Jesus...is a revolution of character, which proceeds by changing people from the inside through ongoing personal relationship to God in Christ and to one another. It is one that changes their ideas, beliefs, feelings, and habits of choice, as well as their bodily tendencies and social relations. It penetrates to the deepest layers of their soul.

...Jesus did not send his students out to start governments or even churches as we know them today, which always strongly convey some elements of a human system. They were, instead, to establish beachheads of his person, word, and power in the midst of a failing and futile humanity. They were to bring the presence of the kingdom and its King into every corner of human life simply by fully living in the kingdom with him.

Dallas Willard

***

Spiritual formation, good or bad, is always profoundly social. You cannot keep it to yourself. Anyone who thinks of it as a merely private matter has misunderstood it. Anyone who says, “It’s just between me and God,” or “What I do is my own business,” has misunderstood God as well as “me.” Strictly speaking there is nothing “just between me and God.” For all that is between me and God affects who I am; and that, in turn, modifies my relationship to everyone around me. My relationship to others also modifies me and deeply affects my relationship to God. Hence those relationships must be transformed if I am to be transformed.

Dallas Willard

***
This Week's Special
Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:29

Speaking of the state of my soul

2011-06-23T18:51:00.001+01:00

* Am I growing more easily discouraged these days?
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.
Isaiah 26:3

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I Corinthians 4:18

* Am I growing more easily irritated these days?
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
Matthew 7:3-5

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”
Phillipians 2:14-15

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart...Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.
I Peter 1:22, 2:1

* How mean have I been lately?
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
John 15:12-13

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Phillipians 2:1-4

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And He has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
I John 4:20-21

How healthy is your soul?

2011-06-21T04:25:00.002+01:00

Have I mentioned recently that I have come to realize that I'm a natural Pharisee? It's one of my signature sins. That phrase was originally coined by Michael Mangis in his epynomous book.** But I came across it while reading John Ortberg's The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God's Best Version of You.

"The Bible never actually uses the phrase “original sin,” but the writers of Scripture (and any moderately perceptive observers) know that we are remarkably prone to do things that we know are wrong. We have a staggering capacity for self-deception and self-justification. There is a kind of “original sin” in another sense. Your sin is intimately connected to the passions and wiring God gave you. Sin doesn’t look quite the same in anyone else as it does in you. Like your fingerprints, your signature, or your bowling style, your sin pattern is unique to you."

Given my Pharisetical tendencies, another passage in Ortberg's book really hit home:

“'How is your spiritual life going?'”
I used to answer this question by looking at the state of
my devotional activities: Did I pray and read the Bible
enough today? The problem is that by this measure the
Pharisees always win. People can be very disciplined,
but remain proud and spiteful. How do we measure spiritual
growth so that the Pharisees don’t win?

I asked a wise man, “How do you assess the well-being
of your soul?”
He immediately said, “I ask myself two questions”:
* Am I growing more easily discouraged these days?
* Am I growing more easily irritated these days?

At the core of a flourishing soul are the love of God and
the peace of God. If peace is growing in me, I am less
easily discouraged. If love is growing, I am less easily
irritated. It was a brilliantly helpful diagnostic to assess
the health of my soul."

The wise man Ortberg talked to was Dallas Willard, and as it happens, I have also just finished reading Willard's own book, The Renovation of the Heart. It's so good, I'm going to feature it as a Bedtime Snack in the future. But for now, I'll just highlight one point he makes which I think can also help diagnose the state of my life with God. In question form, this would be: How mean have I been lately?

Willard quotes the head of a denomination who said he wanted to write a book on the topic, 'Why Are Christians So Mean?' Then Willard gives his answer.

Christians are routinely taught by example and word that it is more important to be right (always in terms of their beloved tradition) than it is to be Christlike. In fact, being right licenses you to be mean, and, indeed, requires you to be mean—-righteously mean, of course. You must be hard on people who are wrong...

...A fundamental mistake of the conservative side of the American church today, and much of the Western church, is that it takes as its basic goal to get as many people as possible ready to die and go to heaven. It aims to get people into heaven rather than to get heaven into people. This of course requires that these people, who are going to be “in,” must be right on what is basic. You can’t really quarrel with that. But it turns out that to be right on “what is basic” is to be right in terms of the particular church vessel or tradition in question, not in terms of Christlikeness.

...it creates groups of people who may be ready to die, but clearly are not ready to live. They rarely can get along with one another, much less those “outside.” Often their most intimate relations are tangles of reciprocal harm, coldness, and resentment. They have found ways of being “Christian” without being Christlike.

There is a big difference between wearing the label 'Christian' and being Christlike, just as there's a big difference between being a Pharisee and being a follower of Jesus. What matters is not whether I can check off a spiritual 'to-do' list: go to church every Sunday, read God's word every day, pray, tithe my money. I can do all that and still have a warped diseased soul. A better indication of how well I am doing with God is how I answer these three simple questions:
* Am I growing more easily discouraged these days?
* Am I growing more easily irritated these days?
* How mean have I been lately?

**Links and notes
Epynomous I think this is the first time I have ever been able to use the word epynomous in a sentence. But I wasn't sure how to pronounce it.

An interview with Michael Mangis about his book, Signature Sins

An excerpt of The Me I want to Be

A taste of The Renovation of the Heart

Speaking of ancient prayers

2011-06-17T21:00:00.001+01:00

Grant me, O Lord my God,
A mind to know You,
A heart to seek You,
Wisdom to find You,
Conduct pleasing to You,
Faithful perseverance in waiting for You,
And a hope of finally embracing You.

Thomas Aquinas
13th centiry Italian Dominican priest and philosopher

***

Be with me today, O Lord
May all I do today
begin with You, O Lord.
Plant dreams and hopes
within my soul,
revive my tired spirit:
be with me today.

May all I do today
continue with Your help, O Lord.
Be at my side
and walk with me:
Be my support today.
May all I do today
reach far and wide, O Lord.
My thoughts, my work, my life:
make them blessings
for Your kingdom;
let them go beyond today,
O God.

Anonymous

Another display of God's brilliance: Palm trees

2011-06-15T16:38:00.001+01:00

I grew up surrounded by snow-covered evergreens, blazing maples, acorned oaks, and flowering apple trees. I didn't see a palm tree until I was 15 on my first trip to southern California. As I remember it, what impressed me most were not the tall skinny trees but the largeness of the uncrowded sky.

Living here, I've found it easy to take for granted the palm trees that line the streets and poke up over the walls of back yards. But gradually, I've come to appreciate their beauty...

I love the way they catch the breeze I've come to appreciate their variety too. There are 2000 species of palms, but basically two main types of palms, fan and feather.
fan palm, of course
feather palm at sunrise
I've come to appreciate their fruit like the bunch of dates here [but they also produce coconuts and oil]

My favorite place to see a palm tree: against the southern mountains*
*although we think of palms growing in humid, tropical climates, there are some varieties that do fine in temperatures of 5-10F [yes, that's 5 farenheit, not celcius].

They grow straight and strong, living long and fruitful lives, so it's no wonder the psalmist used them as a metaphor for following God:

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
planted in the house of the Lord,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;
He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him.”
Psalm 92: 12-15

Easy cuisine recipes for Noah's Cruise Buffet

2011-06-10T00:09:00.000+01:00

After two years of posting on a blog whose title alludes to food, I think it is time to finally share some of my easy cuisine recipes. They're in pairs, in honor of Noah's ark cruise. Bon appetit!

Two condiments
Croutons
1] Cut some bread into cubes
I prefer a firm bread though any kind is fine. And stale bread works well too.

2] Sprinkle with spices to taste: I use salt and garlic powder. But you could also try dry parsley,basil, oregano, thyme, or just about anything else.

3] Toss with olive oil, regular oil or melted butter. I use olive oil and go easy on it.

4] Arrange in single layers on cookie sheets. Bake at 300°F for 10-15 minutes or until crisp.
Keeps 4 weeks, or may be frozen for up to 6 months.

Honey mustard salad dressing
1 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup reduced-fat mayonnaise
1/3 cup honey
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons prepared mustard
4 1/2 tablespoons vinegar
Whisk or shake together all ingredients. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving.

Two appetizers
Caramelized Onion and Spinach Dip
6 cups fresh spinach, coarsely chopped or a pound of frozen spinach
olive oil
one large onion, thinly sliced
1 cup yogurt
8 oz. reduced fat cream cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt
pepper

Heat olive oil in a large saute pan. Add spinach and saute until wilted, about 4 minutes. Scrape into a bowl. When it cools, squeeze the moisture out of it.
In same skillet, heat more olive oil over medium high heat. Add sliced onions and saute until golden and caramelized, about 20 minutes. Remove from pan and let cool.
In a food processor, combine yogurt, cream cheese, garlic, and 1/2 the caramelized onions. Scrape into a bowl, and add spinach, remaining onions, parmesan, and salt and pepper to taste.

Baked brie
1 round or wedge of brie
1/2 cup chopped dried fruit [raisins, cranraisins or apricots for example]
2 T brown sugar
2 T water
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp dried rosemary or Provence herb medly
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

In a bowl, mix the dried fruit, balsamic vinegar, brown sugar, water and rosemary together. Spoon on top of the brie. Sprinkle on the chopped walnuts. Microwave on medium power until soft. Or you can bake it in the oven at 200F, covered, for about an hour or so. Serve with apple slices and french bread.

Two main dishes
Mexicali Rice
one 15 1/4 oz can corn, drained
two soup cans black beans or kidney beans,
two taco seasoning packets
1 onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 cups long grain rice
4 cups boiling water
1 1/2 T ground cumin
1 T chili powder
1 1/2 tsp Salt
sliced sausage or ground beef or turkey

In an oven proof casserole, mix together everything . Cover and cook on the low, 2-3 hours [200 F]. Mix well. Serve hot. Serve with grated cheese, yogurt, corn chips.


Barbecue Chicken 1
1 frying chicken, cut up
1 cup Ketchup
3/4 cup onion, chopped
1/4 cup vinegar
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. sweet basil
1/4 tsp. thyme
Place chicken in slow cooker or in oven proof casserole. Combine all other ingredients and pour over chicken. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours, or in a 250F oven for four hours or in a 350F oven for 1 1/2 hours.

Two desserts
Chocolate bundt cake
1 package dark chocolate cake mix
1 (3.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
2 cups yogurt
3 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup coffee or water
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1] Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 10 inch Bundt pan.
2] In a large bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, yogurt, eggs, oil and coffee. Beat until ingredients are well blended. Fold in chocolate chips. Batter will be
   thick. Spoon into prepared pan.
3 ]Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, or until cake springs back when lightly tapped. Cool 10 minutes in pan, then turn out and cool completely on wire rack.

Baked apples
6 large baking apples
3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon butter

Wash and core apples, then remove a 1 inch strip of peel around the middle of each apple; place in a 2-quart shallow baking dish.
Combine sugar, raisins, cinnamon, nutmeg and brown sugar in a small bowl; fill the center of each apple and dot with 1/2 teaspoon of the butter. Add just enough water to baking dish to cover the bottom of the dish; bake, uncovered, at 350F for about 30 minutes, or until apples are tender. Baste with juices occasionally. Serve warm with a dollop of sweetened whipped cream.

Jesus, Leviticus and Bouef Bourguignon à la Julia Child

2011-06-07T11:00:00.015+01:00

Long ago in a distant galaxy, that is fresh out of college and living in rural Ohio, I served a reheated hamburger and two kinds of frozen vegetables for supper. Jack looked at his plate and commented that if the meals became any simpler, we'd be slicing meat right off the cow. He was right, too. I occasionally got fancy and made something from More With Less or Diet for a Small Planet but daily meal preparation was not a source of pleasure. If the Three Ingredient Cookbook had been published then, I would have been working my way through it. Later I lived by The Once a Month Cookbook where you make a month's worth of meals over one weekend.

I don't hate the idea of cooking. I have recipe boxes, file folders, a OneNote section and a shelf of flagged cookbooks bursting with possibilities. But I am not a fan of chopping. More specifically I am not a fan of chopping day after day after day. Then there is another task I'm not fond of: clean-up, which even the simplest meal requires.

So over the years, I've developed a cuisine that could be called easy but good, with its hallmark method of 'open and dump'. Though I'm not sure hungry ex-pats are the sharpest critics, when someone does compliment my cooking, my stock response is "Oh, it was so easy." I'm not trying to be modest. I follow an intuitive equation that calculates ease of effort with epicurean achievement. The goal is to make dishes that are tasty but quick.

The creme de la creme of my easy cuisine

Since moving here, I've expanded my repetoire and have started to make some standard items from scratch, either because it's cheaper [salad dressing and orange juice] or not available [croutons and barbeque sauce]. I drew the line at tortillas because other than replicating my mom's beloved Christmas coffee cake, I have an aversion to rolling pins. Instead, I find it easier to buy several packages whenever I across the Straits to Spain.

Then when C was here, I watched "Julie and Julia", about a woman who cooks her way through Julia Child's classic Mastering the Art of French Cooking. We [as in C with her charming enthusiasm and me with my maternal willingness] were tempted by the scene where Julie makes Julia's Bouef Bourguignon for a famous cookbook editor. I should have noticed that the drama is focused on how Julie burns her first attempt and not on the actual preparation of the dish. Still, C urged us to put the dish on our dinner menu and I thought, "How hard can it be?"

The answer is not hard at all--just very, very, very time-consuming as in 21 ingredients, 45 steps, and 6 hours. That's without doing the shopping which J kindly did. In true French style he went to the vegetable market, the grocery store, and the meat butcher. Finally he went to the pork butcher, [as in 'the only pork butcher'] because the recipe for Bouef Bourguignon requires 6 ounces of solid chunk bacon. Total shopping time: an hour and a half. Total amount of aggravation from driving in this city's crazy traffic: incalculable.

My vintage Le Crueset perfect for French dishes, thanks to Noreen. Also perfect for weight training since empty it comes in at about 20 pounds**

Once all the ingredients were assembled, I got down to work chopping , simmering, draining, browning and sautéing. I skipped what is known as an auxiliary recipe for Simple Beef Stock because it had more than one step. My preferred method: unwrap a cube of bouillon. However, the adapted Bouef Bourguignon recipe** weaseled in two other auxiliary recipes from Julia Child's bible, one for braised onions and the other for sautéed mushrooms.

For the first half hour, I felt like a French chef, or at least like Julia Child who was California born and bred. I preheated the oven to 450F. I cut the three pound slab of beef into 2-inch cubes [a step needed only if the cook delegates the meat buying]. I peeled and chopped a carrot and a regular onion, and cut the bacon into lardons, a word I only learned when I spent a summer in the French Alps. However, Julia doesn't presume that her servantless American readers will have been so fortunate and she specifies that lardons are "sticks 1/4 inch thick and 1 1/2 inch long." I could have bought a package of pre-cut lardons at the grocery store but I resisted, because I wanted to make "the real thing". I didn't get out a ruler to measure them, but I figured my lardons looked close enough.

Later I checked one against a store-bought lardon. Can you guess which is mine?
Mine is the one on the left of course

Using authentic ingredients was one thing [though I did have to substitute regular onions for pearl onions.]. But following the instructions precisely was another and I bailed at step 9: dry off the pieces of beef before sautéing them. Mine went in wet.

Then at step 13, the thrill of pretending I was a diplomat's spouse living in Paris suddenly disappeared.
13] Toss the contents of the casserole with the salt and pepper and sprinkle with the flour.
14] Set the uncovered casserole in the oven for four minutes.
15] Toss the contents of the casserole again and return to the hot oven for 4 more minutes.
16] Now, lower the heat to 325°F and remove the casserole from the oven.

I felt I had landed in dog obedience school and I started muttering to myself. Would it really make any difference if the casserole was put in a 450 oven for 4 minutes, turned and then given another 4 minutes? Maybe not, but I reluctantly decided I'd better tow the line if I wanted to be sure the dish turned out perfectly. I had three hungry adults waiting eagerly for the pièce de résistance. *1*

The same couldn't be said of Jeff

By the time the meal was ready, it seemed I had mastered not only the art of French cooking, but the book of Leviticus as well. That's where you'll find instructions for how to deal with mildew and be cleansed from skin diseases. In chapter 4, there are also details given on the more important matter of making a sin offering for unintentional sins.*2* First you have to offer a flawless female goat, lay your hand on the head and slaughter it. Then "the priest must take some of its blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and he must pour out all the rest of its blood at the base of the altar." The fat has to be removed and smoked on the altar too. Back in Moses' day, I can't imagine how many animals I'd be sacrificing for all my unintentional sins. But that's what I would have to do to put myself right with God again.

Fortunately, following all the steps to make the Boeuf Bourguignon turned out to be worth it. [Halfway through cooking, someone pointed out it's really just a fancy name for beef stew, and I had my doubts.] We all took our first bites and everyone agreed it was surprisingly delicious. We feasted away, and there were even leftovers which is perhaps my favorite dish of all.

However, I can't say that I'm eager to make a dish which brings to mind the expression 'slaving away in the kitchen'. And if I had to cook three meals a day like that, I'd be ready to take any short cut offered, cake mixes, frozen dinners, pre-cooked bacon. I 'd steer my taste buds far away from frenchified delicacies like Mousse de Foies de Volaille and Coquilles St. Jacques à la Provencale. I'd go running for boxes of macaroni and cheese and canned soups, and fast food hamburgers, even though they wouldn't taste nearly as good.

But what if the best chef in the world showed up at my door at dinner time and said, "Here's a meal for you. It's all made. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to pay me anything either. It's a gift. Just take and eat it." What is being offered is not canned or boxed or mass-produced food. We're talking about the chance to have an absolutely scrumptious dish of true gastronomical delight. I'd be crazy not to take the free gourmet food rather than toil through dozens of fussy steps. [I'd also be crazy to pass by the gourmet food and be content with a cheap imitation.]

The rules of Leviticus were taken care of when Jesus made the ultimate sin offering. His death on the cross means no more frying bulls, male goats, female goats, rams, lambs, doves and pigeons. No more blood on the altar, no more slaving in the kitchen. Because he paid the penalty for every last infraction, we can taste the sweet fellowship of restored righteousness every day. A marvelous feast awaits us. Free, undeserved, delicious. All we have to do is go to the door and accept His offer.

Someone may come along and try to charge us for it. Jesus was always telling his disciples to be on guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees who had turned God's way into a strict rule book. The recipe for righteousness in Leviticus no longer works if you want to get into God's banquet. It's grace and grace alone now that counts.

I am the Bread of Life. Your ancestors ate the manna bread in the desert and died. But now here is Bread that truly comes down out of heaven. Anyone eating this Bread will not die, ever. I am the Bread—living Bread!—who came down out of heaven. Anyone who eats this Bread will live—and forever! The Bread that I present to the world so that it can eat and live is myself, this flesh-and-blood self.
John 6:48-51 The Message

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
Matthew 5:17

**Links and notes
Recipe [all 45 steps of it] for Bouef Bourguignon à la Julia Child

Julia in person Watch Julia Child in action, making things like tarte tatin and spinach turnover.

To read more about Noreen, a Scottish woman who generously gave us many things when we thought we had lost our container of household goods

*1*pièce de résistance: a French expression, circa 1839, that originally meant the most substantial dish in a meal, a dish that had staying power.

*2* For intentional sins you go to Leviticus 20 and follow a simple one step method.

Bedtime Snacks: Life Together

2011-06-03T03:40:00.000+01:00

I'm nibbling my way through Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, another short but pungent book. In the early 1930s Bonhoeffer helped create the Confessing Church which opposed the Nazi regime. As Hitler's darkness began to grow, Bonhoeffer led a seminary and wrote Life Together based on that experience.

In it, he cautioned against a person "looking for some extraordinary social experience which he has not found elsewhere" and to watch out for the danger of "confusing Christian fellowship with some wishful idea of religious fellowship." The natural desire of a devout person to join a community is not the same thing as being part of the body of Christ.

Christian fellowship is not an ideal we aspire to; it's something we participate in simply by being followers of Jesus. It's a spiritual reality, not a psychological or emotional experience. It's not a country club, or Scouts, or a sports team, or an educational association. It's not a nationality or a culture, it's not an affinity group. As Bonhoeffer says, "For Jesus Christ alone is our unity. He is our peace. Through Him alone do we have access to one another, joy in one another, and fellowship with one another."

My brother [or sister] is that other person who has been redeemed by Christ, delivered from his sin, and called to faith and eternal life. Not what a person is in himself as a Christian, his spirituality and piety, constitutes the basis of our community. What determines our fellowship is what the other person is by reason of Christ. Our community with one another consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us.

***

God has put his Word into the mouth of people in order that it may be communicated to other people. When one person is struck by the Word, he speaks it to others. God has willed that we should seek and find His living Word in the witness of a brother or sister. Therefore, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his fellow Christian as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation.

***

You're no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You're no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He's using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what He is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now He's using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as He cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home.
Ephesians 2:19-22 The Message

This Week's Special
You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly.
You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all.
Ephesians 4:4-5 The Message

Just one thing

2011-05-31T14:43:00.004+01:00

By nature, I'm a solitary person. I often joke that I'm not an I for introvert but an H for hermit. Group activities are not high on my list. And yet, lately I have had a new appreciation for what we call 'the body of Christ'. I've realized again that being in relationship is at the heart of what it means to follow Jesus. There is the trinitarian relationship in God Himself, there is God restoring fellowship with us, and then we become connected with others to be "built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit" as Paul put it to the Ephesians.

Back in his day, there wasn't any choice if you wanted to join with other disciples of Jesus. You found yourself with people from all walks of life and cultures. But now, in the states at least, there are so many different churches, we can go 'church shopping' [an oxymoron if ever there was one] and chose one that fits us best, a warm cozy place populated with people like us. Do we like the worship style, the theology, the church's position on x, y or z? Do we have the same political views? Are we in the same stage of life? Do we have similar interests? Frankly, that's often how J and I chose where to go.

Then we moved overseas to a city that has exactly one Protestant English-speaking church. Suddenly, we found ourselves confronting differences galore: theology, culture, language, politics, interests, spiritual practice. Really the only thing the people have in common with each other, besides being expatriates in this country, is a common faith in Jesus Christ.

This past weekend, 19 women from the church traveled a few hours south for a retreat in a traditional house with a wonderful interior courtyard and garden.

Our ages spanned 5 decades, we came from 8 countries and from every denominational stripe. We were single and married, with children and without children, with different careers and levels of education. Some of us were new to the country, others have lived here for much of their adult lives.

Yet as we came together, in spite of all those differences, there was a spirit of love and of belonging. Unlike a human community based on natural interests and affinities, we were part of a spiritual community created by the Holy Spirit.

It was an amazing experience. We laughed together, ate together, shared together, went shopping and sightseeing together, had coffee together. It felt like we had known each other all our lives, like we were family.

It was a little taste of heaven.

We must all be saved together! Reach God together! Appear before Him together! We must return to our Father’s house together…what would He think if we arrived without the others?

Charles Péguy

Speaking of: being redeemed

2011-05-28T13:18:00.004+01:00

Richard Rohr…said the opposite of holding on to control isn’t—as we tend to think—letting go….the opposite of holding on is participating in something larger than ourselves.

Heather King in Redeemed
***

The Christian religion is only for one who needs infinite help. That is, only for one who feels infinite anguish. The whole earth can suffer no greater torment that a single soul. The Christian faith—as I see it—is one’s refuge in this ultimate torment. Anyone to whom it is given in this anguish to open his heart, instead of contracting it, accepts the means of salvation in his heart.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

***

Seek the answer in God's grace, not in doctrine;
In the longing of the will, not in the understanding;
In the sighs of prayer, not in research.

St. Bonaventure
***

Never think that change is easy or that it comes suddenly or without pain. That is a storybook world. We are each the one to whom the question is addressed, "Do you want to recover?"
...it is a strange and frightening discovery to find that the sacrificial life that Christianity is talking about is the giving up of our chains to discover that what binds us is also what gives us comfort and a measure of feeling safe.

Elizabeth O'Connor
***

This week's special
Blessed be the Lord who has shown me the wonders of His love in a fortified city.
Psalm 31:21[and the epitaph to Redeemed]

Speaking of Heather King coming to faith

2011-05-26T13:13:00.002+01:00

In Heather King's own words:

If the existence of God were susceptible of being “proved,” I would have to kill myself, because it would mean there were no God. It would mean there is nothing greater than us. Also, if God could be “proved,” chances are only smart people would be able to grasp it. Where would that leave the stupid people, the dense people, the slow people? The fact is we are all stupid, slow, and dense, in our ways. That’s why God works through contradictions and paradox. He works through the human heart: a method that doesn’t derogate intelligence, or diminish the glory and importance of intelligence, but puts it at the service of something greater than oneself.

I once read an interview with Sam Harris and he said something like the man who would fall to his knees before a “dewy waterfall” and pledge his heart to Jesus is psychotic. And I wanted to say, Oh Sam, you’ve never done anything you were really ashamed of. You’ve never found yourself in the grip of a compulsion from which you couldn’t find your way out. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of. And maybe you have to have done things you’re ashamed of, or to have been in the grip of a compulsion…. that’s how we come to God. We come to God when we’ve sensed the limits of “justice,” of worldly evidence and proof. We come when we need mercy and forgiveness and healing….We come when we’re sick; after we’ve squandered our inheritance. To deny God is actually the worst kind of squandering of our intellectual and every other kind of inheritance, because it denies the movements of our souls and hearts—which, ironically, is the one “proof” we do have. “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” That’s the “proof”; that’s the truth…

***

If you need God, then why Christ? you might ask next. Why not an abstract God, a God who’s somewhere out in the ether, a God who’s more or less an idea, an abstraction? Maybe because the world ‘religion’ comes from the Latin *religare, which means to reconnect’ and to reconnect I first have to feel the full pain of my own separation: this aging body I'm afraid and ashamed of; my brain, which can't seem to stop running in compulsive ruts; my heart, which keeps lurching open and snapping shut at exactly the *wrong times. …To me, the most incredible and best possible news about the Incarnation is that it means God isn't out there, He's in here.

***

Sometimes it seems as if what I long for is so far beyond what is here on earth, or that any person could give me, or respond to. And at the same time I see ever more clearly that I have never been really alone. I haven't missed anything, and in fact, all those untold hours, days and nights, years and years and years,when I have wandered around alone, yearning and aching, it was only for Jesus.

Bedtime Snacks: Redeemed

2011-05-24T23:53:00.002+01:00

"I myself can never get enough of other people’s personal essays and memoirs. I think we’re all hungry for stories, hungry to make sense of the world, hungry to know we’re not alone. And we’re all really, really hungry to laugh. Not that every memoir has to be funny, but if you look hard enough at any human life, it’s a mixture of the lowest tragedy and the highest comedy. That’s why when you find a person who can tell his or her story with self-deprecation, insight and humor, you know you’re really onto something."

That quote from Heather King aptly describes why I enjoy reading other people's stories. That includes her own spiritual memoir, Redeemed: Stumbling toward God, Sanity, and the Peace that Passes All Understanding.

One reviewer said Redeemed "deserves to be as popular as Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love." I've only seen the movie version of EPL, but I'm not sure that's the right comparison. Redeemed is more thematic than chronological. The gory details of her private holocaust as an alcoholic are found in King's first memoir, Parched. Here she picks up the story as she comes to believe in God and then follow Jesus.

As King begins to grow in her faith, she faces the challenge of dealing with the leftover damage from her former life. Through episodes and events in her life [divorce, cancer, the death of a parent], she chronicles the power of Christ to take a person out of the mud and mire and set them on a rock solid foundation that can weather the harshest storms. But she doesn't describe her transformation with a sense of personal triumph, rather with a hard-won obedience to the One who knows better than she does. She seeks to take God at His word instead of sliding into a self-help gospel [what John Ortberg calls the Moral Therapeutic Dream**] even when this brings her discomfort. She joins the Catholic church and lest you think it is more socially acceptable these days to be a Catholic Christian than an Evangelical Christian, she tells how she was mocked at a meeting of artists when she identifies herself as a Catholic.

You could think of her as a Catholic Anne Lamott, only she doesn't come across as snarky.** Although she's now feasting at her Father's table, she hasn't forgotten the pathos of eating eat with the pigs or crawling home for forgiveness. She manages to write about her former lifestyle with what I can best describe as a wise and compassionate humility, holding on to truth and love at the same time.

King deals with her past as a self-described "broken-down alcoholic, drug-addicted, sex-and love-obsessed depressive" just as a priest friend of hers, Father Terry, described how to handle someone who's difficult:

"...you’ll find that the person is generally trying to force you into one of two positions: into either being a doormat or into assuming an adversarial position—it’s as if the person wants to get you to teach him or her a lesson, to get you to return his or her psychological violence with your own. And he [Father Terry] said there’s a middle way—the way of Christ—which is to stand tall and hold the other person accountable, but with total love: not by accusing, or pointing the finger, or laying out your case, but by refusing to pretend that you don’t see what you see or smell what you smell.”

It's that attitude that enables her to give a compelling account about why life with the pigs isn't as fulfilling or rewarding or enjoyable as proponents of secular moral freedom would like us to believe. “How can I abort my own child, then purport to abhor the mind that would plan 9/11? It’s not the same thing, but it is the same principle: I’m more valuable than you; you’re in the way; one of us has to go."

King takes the same thoughtful stance when she describes her journey to move her attention off of herself and focus instead on the praiseworthy Shepherd of her soul:

What if I quit feeling guilty and ashamed; what if I believed I really had been forgiven? What unimaginable freedom might I enjoy if I ceased thinking of myself as congenitally damaged and defective?...what if my emotional fragility was ‘just a manifestation of my oh-so-inflated ego? What if I’d just been protecting myself: from taking risks, yielding control, having some fun? What if I could just pick up my mat, like the paralytic Jesus cured—and walk?
[On the other hand]I can’t ‘put on the new man’ by an effort of will. I don’t have to try harder, I have to resist less. I have to be willing to try a new way and to let the old way go.

Here is a wise guide worth reading, a prodigal daughter who has returned home and is honestly struggling to learn what it means to be beloved.

**Links
**The basic beliefs of Moral Therapeutic Deism
Christian Smith, a sociologist at Notre Dame, says the primary expression of faith in our day is Moral Therapeutic Deism. This religion is characterized by five beliefs:
"–There is a God who created earth and watches over it
–God wants people to be nice, fair and good (as it taught in the Bible and most other religions)
–The central goal of life is to be happy and feel good about yourself
–God doesn’t need to be involved in your life except when there’s a problem that needs Celestial Performance Enhancement
–Good people go to heaven when they die."

**Heather King's blog

Cruise Stop: Glass Beach

2011-05-20T06:20:00.000+01:00

Three hours north of San Francisco, there's a place I hope my cruise ship docks someday: Glass Beach in Fort Bragg, California [not to be confused with the army base by the same name which is in North Carolina.]

A hundred years ago, before the US had litterbug campaigns, street cleaners, and public trash cans, residents threw their garbage off the ocean cliffs. [Perhaps that's where Arlo Guthrie got the idea.**] Everything got pitched over and landed in what became known as "The Dumps". In the late 60s, the area was closed and cleanup was done. But by then, the beach itself had become covered with beach glass.

The beach is now part of MacKerricher State Park and it's forbidden to collect the beach glass. Another case of trash turning into treasure.

**Arlo Guthrie wrote about his trash dumping exploits in the epic song "Alice's Restaurant":"Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago...when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant...Havin' all that room, seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our's down."

Speaking of being polished

2011-05-20T06:14:00.000+01:00

Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.

Eugene O'Neill

***

P.B.P.W.M.G.I.F.W.M.Y.
“Please Be Patient With Me, God Isn’t Finished With Me Yet.”

***

The moment of redemption is a seed in the soil of our lives.
Obedience, service, works, lordship are blossoms from that seed.

[paraphrase from Dallas Willard, Spirit of the Disciplines]

***

I ain't where I ought to be
And I ain't where I thought I'd be
But thank God I ain't where I used to be

Fred Haring

***
This week's special
I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.
I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed.
I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands.
Ezekial 36:26,27 The Message

From trash to treasure

2011-05-14T17:14:00.014+01:00

I love living five minutes from the ocean, fifteen minutes from a good beach. We can choose from quite a variety from rocky coves to fine lagoons. I don't go as often as I'd like, but thanks to Sam and Jeff, I went several times last month.

Unfortunately, for all of their natural beauty, the beaches aren't very clean. Pop quiz: why?
1] Students are not indoctrinated with litterbug campaigns at an impressionable young age.
2] There are no trash cans at the beach.

3] The diligent city street sweepers don't patrol the beach.
4] The culture views public space as no man's land, not as their civic responsibility.
The answer: all of the above. The result:
The beach is strewn with all kinds of trash including broken bottles that have shattered into dozens of pieces. How the pieces get scattered along the soft sand is a mystery to me, especially in places where the parking area isn't covered in asphalt. Walking to the water requires looking down so you can dodge the dangerous and unsightly bits of glass.
But amazingly, the ugly shards of glass will eventually be worn down into smooth, pebble-like pieces of sea glass. It's an impressive transformation by the simple forces of water and rock. Some people collect it and turn it into beautiful jewelry. Trash turns into treasure.**

How long does it take for the pounding surf to soften the edges of glass? A season, a year, a decade? No one really knows. In the States, thanks to plastic and litterbug campaigns, sea glass is becoming harder to find and people are beginning to make it from scratch. One man estimated it took a few weeks of nonstop rolling around in an electric tumbler to wear down pieces of glass.**
I have my own sharp edges that God is smoothing down. Years after I invited the Holy Spirit to take up residence in me, I'm still being polished.

I used to despair that the jagged parts would never become smooth. I'd look at an older kindly saint and assume they were just born that way. Now I know better. Soft edges come from the long loving work of God.

Dallas Willard, in The Divine Conspiracy talks about the gaps in this world between the places where God rules and those still under enemy control. "Sometimes the places where God’s effective rule is not yet carried out lie within the lives and little kingdoms of those who truly have been invaded by the eternal kind of life. The interior castle of the human soul as Teresa of Avila called it, has many rooms, and they are slowly occupied by God, allowing us time and room to grow."

I like that image of God's slow and steady occupation in all the corners of my life. I've sometimes wished for instant change and sudden miraculous reforming, God takes a slower approach--either because of my stubbornness or His gentleness [I suspect it is both.]

It's not always pleasant to tumble through God's sanctifying surf. But it's necessary if I want to avoid wounding people with my own brokenness and instead become an instrument of grace.

His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for Himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.
Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love.
Ephesians 4:30-5:2 The Message

**Links
Liliana Designs Sea Glass Jewelry

How to find real sea glass: The best time to look is during the spring tides, or during the first low tide after a storm.

How to cheat and make your own sea glass:"I put together a large volume tumbler for smoothing broken glass. With a hammer and brick in a basin, I break bottles into small pebble size pieces. Then I load the tumbler with the glass, some coarse sand, some lava rock and water."

Speaking of the Boss

2011-05-13T06:53:00.000+01:00

To have a master means that there is One who knows me better than I know myself,
One who is closer than a friend,
One who fathoms the remotest abyss of my heart and satisfies it,
One who has brought me into the secure sense that He has met and solved every perplexity and problem of my mind.
To have a master is this and nothing less.

Oswald Chambers
***

Background Music:
Be Still
Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Steven Curtis Chapman [after Psalm 46:10]

This Week's Special
You call Me "Teacher" and "Lord" and rightly so, for that is what I am.
John 13:13

Who's the Boss?

2011-05-10T18:42:00.003+01:00

Just because I didn't post during the last two weeks doesn't mean the buffet production line has stopped completely. In fact, there are six new post ideas I've been mulling over and my OneNote blog notebook is stuffed with dozens and dozens more. My to-do list is equally overwhelming after a wonderful month-long visit from Caitlin and crew with trips to the beach and the park and the playground. But as I panicked looking over my list, I remembered a question I sometimes heard over the past few weeks. Every so often, one of Sam's parents would look him in the eye and ask, "Who's the boss? Who's in charge?"

Sam was usually asked the question after a third cookie or complaining about what he wasn't allowed to do, and the tone of his answer tended to be one of grudging acceptance. I too find it challenging sometimes to be reminded that I'm not the boss.

But at other times it can be a comfort to know I don't have to figure it all out. The position of submission is the place where I can receive God's love. This week, I've found it reassuring to know that I can go to God with all my ideas and opportunities and possibilities and tasks and put them under His lordship. I can trust Him to turn my fragmented and unfocused life into an integrated and ordered whole.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.
Isaiah 26:3

Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;
for He is our God
and we are the people of His pasture,
the flock under His care.
Psalm 95:6,7

Celebration and sorrow

2011-04-23T23:13:00.009+01:00

If I were a member of a monastic order, I'd be coming to the end of the Great Silence, the period between Maundy Thursday [or Passover] and the start of the Easter Vigil that is held in the wee hours of the night.

But I'm not, especially not this year. Obviously the Great Silence is not something one attempts with two boys, ages 4 and almost 2. It's more like the Great Chaos-- a happy chaos but not a silent chaos.

Even without the visit of C, S and Jeff though, life in this country plows through Holy Week without a pause. As it happened, I was invited to the wedding of Z's son in the old city, on Good Friday afternoon.

"Come at 3," Z said. "I've told people to come at 2 but they won't come before 3." I nodded, thankful for her understanding. It was actually 4 by the time I arrived with a few friends, but we were still some of the first ones there, and no one had yet changed into their fancy clothes. We waited and chatted. More women came [the men were celebrating later that night]. We ate.

We moved downstairs to wait for the bride. We waited, and waited some more. Whenever we asked when the bride was coming, the answer was 'soon, soon.'

At last we heard that the bride was coming and we went out to welcome her. Some joined the procession.

Only later did I have a chance to reflect that these narrow lanes might have been like the ones Jesus carried his cross through on the way to be crucified. I'm sure a crowd gathered out of curiosity and followed along. Others peeked out of windows and watched the procession pass by before going back inside and resuming whatever they had been doing.

By now, it was after 6 and the Good Friday service was going to begin on the other side of the city at 7. But it was impossible to slip away and I gave up hope of getting to the service on time. There were pictures to be taken, dancing to be done. I escaped to the second story where the music was very loud but at least not EXTREMELY loud like it was on the ground floor. Finally, I was able to make my apologies for my early departure and leave.

I arrived 45 minutes late at the Good Friday service, in the middle of a time of silence. I had considered just going home rather than coming so late, but I thought even 15 minutes of quiet reflection would be good and I was right. I listened to the account of the crucifixion being read. I sang hymns that spoke of Jesus' sacrifice.

"The wonder of your cross shall be our meditation
To gather in that shadow when the sun went down
To weep with those who thought that you were leaving,
You were leaving, Jesus
The humble King who never wore an earthly crown." [Robin Mark]

Soon, the cross was brought to the front of the church and people came forward and nailed a piece of paper with their name onto it.

Gradually the bare cross became covered, until it was shrouded in white.

"Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?"

He said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19 :30

Speaking of Saint Ignatius

2011-04-16T13:02:00.001+01:00

Two from Saint Ignatius:

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory,
my understanding, and my entire will.
All I have and call my own.
Whatever I have or hold, You have given me.
I return it all to You and surrender it wholly
to be governed by Your will.
Give me only Your love and Your grace
and I am rich enough and ask for nothing more.

***
Work as if everything depended on you,
Pray as if everything depended on God.

***
Ignatian spirituality:
"1. It begins with a wounded soldier daydreaming on his sickbed.
Ignatian spirituality is rooted in the experiences of Ignatius Loyola (1491–1556), a Basque aristocrat whose conversion to a fervent Christian faith began while he was recovering from war wounds. Ignatius, who founded the Jesuits, gained many insights into the spiritual life in the course of a decades long spiritual journey during which he became expert at helping others deepen their relationship with God. Its basis in personal experience makes Ignatian spirituality an intensely practical spirituality, well suited to laymen and laywomen living active lives in the world.

2. “The world is charged with the grandeur of God.”
This line from a poem by the Jesuit Gerard Manley Hopkins captures a central theme of Ignatian spirituality: its insistence that God is at work everywhere—in work, relationships, culture, the arts, the intellectual life, creation itself. As Ignatius put it, all the things in the world are presented to us “so that we can know God more easily and make a return of love more readily.” Ignatian spirituality places great emphasis on discerning God’s presence in the everyday activities of ordinary life. It sees God as an active God, always at work, inviting us to an ever-deeper walk.

3. It’s about call and response—like the music of a gospel choir.
An Ignatian spiritual life focuses on God at work now. It fosters an active attentiveness to God joined with a prompt responsiveness to God. God calls; we respond. This call-response rhythm of the inner life makes discernment and decision making especially important. Ignatius’s rules for discernment and his astute approach to decision making are well-regarded for their psychological and spiritual wisdom.

4. “The heart has its reasons of which the mind knows nothing.”
The spirituality Ignatius developed places great emphasis on the affective life: the use of imagination in prayer, discernment and interpretation of feelings, cultivation of great desires, and generous service. Ignatian spiritual renewal focuses more on the heart than the intellect. It holds that our choices and decisions are often beyond the merely rational or reasonable. Its goal is an eager, generous, wholehearted offer of oneself to God and to his work.

5. Free at last.
Ignatian spirituality emphasizes interior freedom. To choose rightly, we should strive to be free of personal preferences, superfluous attachments, and preformed opinions. Ignatius counseled radical detachment: “We should not fix our desires on health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one.” Our one goal is the freedom to make a wholehearted choice to follow God."
from Ten elements of Ignatian spirituality

This Week's Special
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10

The point of pruning

2011-04-14T11:26:00.016+01:00

I'm a hoarder by nature. I like to hold on to things, even after they've served their purpose. So not surprisingly, pruning and weeding are not my strong suits. In the past, J and I have had some fierce discussions about whether to trim back trees, bushes, and vines. But last month, I discovered the point of pruning when the gardener chopped away at a fast-growing tree and a mass of ivy in the back yard. The last time this foliage was pruned was several years ago. It didn't grow back overnight, but bit by bit the vines and branches took over the space above the wall.

Instead of being upset by the drastic pruning though, I loved being able to see on the other side of the wall again. The formerly cramped view from the upstairs terrace has been replaced with a wonderful vista. Now the ocean is in plain sight. We can see the cows and the sheep crazing on the far hill, and the walls of the old necropolis across the valley.

I've been realizing the same thing happens in my spiritual garden. When I let discouragements and bad attitudes and foul thoughts overtake the space, it's much harder to see who God is and what He is doing in the world. I need to go through the discipline of cutting back and pruning so I can see clearly beyond my little area.

Now as longtime readers of this blog know, I'm something of spiritual life junkie. It might be easy to think that this leads to greater holiness but that's not true at all. In fact I sometimes wonder that all my explorations are simply a convenient and acceptable way to avoid really encountering God face to face. But be that as it may, I recently discovered a good tool for spiritual pruning from Saint Ignatius. He was the founder of the Jesuit order and I've always viewed the Jesuits as overly intellectual and heady. But I discovered that Ignatius focused on the heart and emotions and imagination too.

One of his contemplative practices was the Daily Examen. To me, the word examen sounds too much like exam, with the emphasis on rating performance and trying to be perfect. So I've found it better to think of it as the Daily Reflection since that's really what it is: a time to reflect back over the day.

The daily part doesn't work well for me either [this blog isn't called 'the cruise buffet' for nothing]. Doing the same thing every day, I easily lapse into an unreflective roteness. Also being introspective by nature, I can easily overdose on reflection and end up wallowing in a mushy self-centered soup. Since looking at myself is really only a stepping stone to letting God's Spirit come into my life more fully, it's best for me to do it every few days, or once a week. But I am finding it very helpful to look at what is going on in my life with God and talk about it together.

Here's a five-step version that I've adapted from an Ignatian spirituality website**.
1. Become aware of God’s presence.
This first step is the most important. I need to center down, clear away distractions and focus on God. I've found it helpful to remind myself: "You are here with me now," six simple words that encompass a profound spiritual reality.

You are: the personal, loving, redeeming God, the "I am that I am"
here: in this place, this room, this house
with: in relationship, connected, interacting
me: creature, friend, counselee
now: at this time, in this moment

2. Look back on the events of the day in the company of the Holy Spirit.
Ask God to bring clarity and understanding. Where was God at work? Where did He lead me? Where did I resist Him? What pulled me away from Him? What are you thankful for?

3. Pay attention to your emotions.
Reflect on the feelings you experienced during the day. How did you respond to events? With boredom? Elation? Resentment? Compassion? Anger? Confidence?

As you look at your emotions, invite the Spirit into those areas. What thanks and what requests come from these feelings? What growth do they indicate? What needed growth do they point to?

"Our feelings, positive and negative, the painful and the pleasing, are clear signals of where the action was during the day. Simply pay attention to any and all of those feelings as they surface, the whole range-–whatever was there. Some of us may be hesitant to focus on feelings in this over-psychologized age, but I believe that these feelings are the liveliest index to what is happening in our lives." Dennis Hamm, Jesuit scholar

4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you to something during the day that God thinks is particularly important. Look at it. Pray about it.

5. Look toward the coming day. In what ways would I like to see God move in my life the coming day? In what ways might I more fully give myself to God in the coming day?

Although the daily reflection is traditionally done before going to bed, I'm a morning person and find that it's better for me to do at the beginning of the day. I also find that I only get through the first three steps before my reflection turns into a more general time of talking with God and listening to Him. I don't mind though. The main point is to look at what is going on in my life and to bring God into all the nooks and crannies.

Search me, o God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139:23-24

**Link
The Daily Examen

Speaking of God's amuse-bouches

2011-04-08T09:04:00.002+01:00

Pied Beauty

Glory be to God for dappled things—
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;

For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;

Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;

Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)

With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;

He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise him.

Gerard Manly Hopkins

God's Tinkerbelle

2011-04-05T07:29:00.004+01:00

Faithful readers of this blog with keen memories will recall that a year ago I started a series on ways to enjoy God. [I think I'm up to five, if you're counting]. Readers with champion memories know that the first in the series was looking for patches of Godlight**. Since then there have been several times when I've been tempted to break out this way to enjoy God as a unique menu item. I even came up with a name for it: the amuse-bouche*.

This past weekend, we went out for lunch to celebrate two birthdays and an anniversary at a regular nice restaurant along a beach, and we were served not one but two amuse-bouches. One was a small glass of fresh squeezed orange juice that came soon after we were seated. The other was my first dessert amuse-bouche, after we proclaimed we were too stuffed for dessert. In a dish the shape of a finger were thin slices of strawberries on a bed of whipped cream and a drizzle of caramel sauce. Unexpected, free, and delightful.

Although I once used amuse-bouche to describe a book**, it seems like a very apt word for the patches of Godlight we find in the world around us, those sudden displays of the Creator's brilliance.** However at this point, readers with ordinary memories will remind me that I have yet to put the amuse-bouche on this blog's menu. That's because every time I think about sharing a patch of Godlight, I invariably end up writing about something bigger, something that seems more profound and worthy of contemplation. I keep passing by the small but precious moments when God reveals a twinkle of His creative power and beauty.

But I love having just a taste and savoring that single bite. I know that a simple haiku can be as beautiful and meaningful as an 800 page masterpiece [say Anna Karenina]. A whisper can communicate as powerfully as a shout. And this morning as I was spending time with God on the second story terrace, a patch of Godlight suddenly appeared on my keyboard, a green tinkerbelle:
This glorious glimmer was not only a wonderful amuse-bouche to start the day, I decided [drum roll please] it was the perfect way to launch the new Snacks from the Cruise Buffet menu item.

You're probably curious, as I was, to learn what this green tinkerbelle really is. If you google "green flying bug with translucent wings", you'll discover it is a Green Lacewing. They are good bugs, so good that you can buy Green Lacewing eggs on Amazon [1000 to the box] which will then hatch into larvae [not nearly as beautiful as the adult lacewing] and chow their way through the aphids in your garden [aphid is another word for a sap sucking insect sometimes referred to as 'plant lice'--and you know that anything that is referred to as lice is a bad bug]. The larvae then transform into these beautiful tinkerbelles.

What an amazing display of God's brilliance.

Links and notes: *An amuse-bouche is a small hors d'oeuvre not listed on the menu, a single elegant bite that the waiter brings to give you a preview of the chef's cooking.

How to have fun with God

the amuse-bouche book

A sudden display of brilliance

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. Psalm 9:1

Psalm 23

2011-04-01T09:39:00.001+01:00

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He takes me to lush pastures, He leads me to refreshing water.
He restores my strength. He leads me down the right paths
for the sake of His reputation.
Even when I must walk through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff reassure me.
You prepare a feast before me in plain sight of my enemies.
You refresh my head with oil; my cup is completely full.
Surely your goodness and faithfulness will pursue** me all my days,
and I will live in the Lord’s house for the rest of my life.

Psalm 23 [NET Bible]

**NET Bible note on 'pursue': "This verb is often used to describe the hostile actions of enemies. One might expect the psalmist’s enemies (see v. 5) to chase him, but ironically God’s “goodness and faithfulness” (which are personified and stand by metonymy for God himself) pursue him instead. The word “pursue” is used outside of its normal context in an ironic manner and creates a unique, but pleasant word picture of God’s favor (or a kind God) “chasing down” the one whom he loves."

This Week's Special
Your word is a lamp to walk by,
and a light to illumine my path.
Psalm 119:105 [NET Bible]

Read where you are

2011-03-29T21:24:00.004+01:00

Back in the dark ages [about six years ago], my laptop was big, bulky and slow. I used it for word processing and email. Now it is lighter and faster with a much bigger hard drive and it has gradually become a central part of my life. It's now my photo album, music collection, mailbox, library [thanks to Project Gutenberg and the Nook for PC program], and often my dvd player, stereo, and telephone. Sometimes, I even use it as my camera during a Skype call.

And thanks to OneNote,[ a program Microsoft has been bundling with Office for a few years] my laptop has also become my spiritual journal. I'm not going to wax eloquent about how useful I find OneNote, except to say it has a great search function, and having pages and sections and notebooks makes material much more accessible than closed up in file that is tucked away in a folder.

Using my laptop for my journal has some pitfalls. It's tempting to check email or news or blogs or google some random question. Since I usually spend time with God first thing in the morning, I've learned to turn my wireless off before I go to bed. But there are times I'll turn it back on when I have one of those "where's the verse with that phrase…." moments. Google finds it 99% of the time. And when I want to compare a passage [or copy a verse for this blog], I use a websites that has several different translations of the Bible.**

However, I've also downloaded a Bible onto my laptop. The NET Bible** is free, and like OneNote it is an absolute breeze to navigate and search. It's probably the fastest way to look up a specific passage. Three clicks and you're there. NET Bible is billed as a more literal translation, but I find it reads fresh. It also comes with very enlightening translator's notes. This electronic Bible isn't going to replace my paper and ink Bible [who could give up that wonderful crinkling sound when you turn the page?]. But it's great to have a Bible at my fingertips all the time. If I have everything else on my laptop, why not the Word of life too?

Links
NET Bible to download

Websites with several Bible translations:
Biblos
NET Bible Study Environment

Also:
My Utmost for His Highest by email.

One of my favorite devotionals, Every Day Light, as an RSS feed

Choose your own daily reading plan by email